


Extra Century 19XX chapters

by Scandein



Category: Century 19XX
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Blood and Violence, Bullying, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Fluff, Light Smut, Minor Anxiety attack, Other, Torture, Trauma, canon content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:56:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 32,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24405400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scandein/pseuds/Scandein
Summary: This is a side series to which if you would like extra content of the series Century 19XX that couldn't get into the original series then this is for you! All content here is canon content from the original creator of the series.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	1. First date

Leaning against the uneven rock wall Joki held a stone in hand as he occasionally threw it up in the air only to catch it a moment later. That guy the other day had asked him to meet him here, hell if he knew why, only reason he went was becuase he had nothing better to do.

throwing the rock into the water it only skipped once on the surface before sinking under the surface. Why was he even here, this was just a waste of time. He thought as he knelt down grabbing another stone as he leant back once again.

What if this whole thing was just a flop, that this was just a dumb joke on him. He threw another stone, now frowning. There was a stillness for a moment before he tsked, this was not worth it. Shoving his hands in  
his pockets he turned away to start heading back when he heard the sound of a engine approaching.

Turning his head he heard the engine being turned off as a voice exclaimed. "Wait!- hey! you- ha wai- you actually came!" the voice rambled as he watched the guy getting off a motorbike, he almost went tumbling down the broken stairs down to the outcrop Joki was on. Even so, he had a apoligetic smile mixed with surprise as he approached Joki. He recognized that odd red hair from anywhere.

The man scratched the back off his head, "ah, you actually came! what a relief!" the man eagerly spoke as Joki frowned, taken aback a little at the guy actually not standing him up like he thought he had done. As Joki didn't give a reply the red head continued. "I forgot the time and got here as fast as i could- you- remember me right? Rei? Drach?"  
He gave another apoligetic smile, he was a charismatic one alright, with a stupid charming smile. Joki looked at the hand reached out as he carefully took it, shaking it akwardly. Rei shot him a confused look before chuckling. "ah, didn't exactly mean to shake your hand- was thinking more on taking it but this is fine too"

It took Joki a moment as he pulled away, this time placing his hand in the man's, taking the pale hand rei gave him a small wink before starting to pull him. "follow me, i promise i won't disappoint." And with that they made their way up the stairs towards the bike.

These bikes were only really seen in the army, though he shouldn't be surprised as he already told Joki that he was in the army, kinda. did he? His thoughts didn't linger as his thoughts were interuppted with the sound of the engine starting, startling him slightly. Blinking, he heard the red head let out a soft chuckle. "sensetive to noise huh?"

Joki frowned as he shook his head, he turned his attention to the seat behind Rei as he took his seat, grabbing onto the back for support. Rei shot him a curious look, "you sure you don't want to hold me while we go?" Joki looked at him with a 'are you crazy?' look, he was met with a eyeroll as Rei turned back forward. "alright.. suit yourself, but you're going to want to hold onto something.

Before giving it a second thought the wheels began spinning as they were off, instinctively, Joki grabbed around the waist of his driver in order to not fall off. Seeing a small smirk forming on the red heads lips there was only one thing that came to mind. "tch, bastard"


	2. Red spider lily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains spoilers for later chapter, but if you do not mind things as spoilers then go ahead. otherwise just skip to the next chapter.

The tapping of the rain against the window held him awake. Eyes wide open he laid on his bed, don't close your eyes. tomorrow was his birthday- 11 years he had lived then. On his chest he held a nicely made letter with a heart on it, he was never very good at writing but this day was the day. He couldn't help but to smile to himself a little as his eyes starred up at the colorless celing. Wait, what if he wrote something wrong? no he didn't, He has already made sure- has he?

He laid on the bed dead still, he needed to check- it can't go wrong. He tried to listen closely to if mother was still awake. He could hear her footsteps walking around.

Damn it.

was it safe?

Taking a deep breath ached in his chest as he sat up- quickly lighting the candle as he swiftly pulled up the letter once again. He just had to make sure it was correct. He tried to read it through as fast as he could, he just had to make it to the end-

The door swung open leaving him to jump and quickly slide the crumpled paper under the pillow- he was quick but not quick enough to blow out the light in the room. Taking a inner breath he met his mother's cruel stare with confidence, she didn't see him.

"Hello mom." he gave her a big smile, the way he had learned to do all these years. Her eyes furrowed, her smell was almost choking him. alchohol. He watched her warily make her way over to him into the room, ready for anything. She almost seemed to always want to puke when he saw his albino characteristics every time.

"the god's name you smiling about." Her stern sharp voice cut through whatever hope he had mustered up to this point of time of her entering the room. He took a sigh as he opened his mouth to speak. "can you leave my room- i need to sleep-"

He's not sure what hurt more.

The surprise, the realization that he wasen't even going to get a chance to talk, that she had just come in here for the solid reason to let it all out.

Or the fact that she had so little care for him, his well-being, his continued existence, that at the smallest objection, he was punced under the ribs, right in the kidney

He fell off the bed- falling down hard, hitting his hand and spraining his wrists as he fell down on his back.

He wheezed in surprise, spit and maybe bile and blood clinging to his lip, cheek hot and burning as it was pressed against the uneven stone floor as ground. His abdomen ached, it felt hot. Stupidly enough what hurt more was his still pounding head, made worse by the metallic taste in his mouth. His breathing was fast, but he made sure not to let his panic show. Not to let the pain, the fear be showchased to her.

He had simply asked to be alone.

"Why are you talking as if you own this place hah?! Are you trying to lead me astray from gods path hah?" Her voice was shrill and hurt his ears, that was not new though.

"i don't even care a shit about your god." He mumbled after spitting out a mouthful of blood- he had sliced clean through his lip, go figure. As soon as he said those words, he regretted and he tried not shivering as a spark of rage lit up in mother's dead eyes.

"You don't get to speak of him in such a way you bastard."

He saw the foot flying at his face- he didn't get the chance to do more than close his eyes. the world went dark.

He woke up again.

It hurt.

It hurt to breathe.

His skin felt on fire.

It hurt to breathe.

He sighed as deep as he dared, as he tried getting his mind back on track.

It hurt like hell, but he was pretty sure his ribs were still not broken.

It was a pure, crime of passion, premeditated torture.

He breathed in, against the pain.

Oxygen for his brain so he could think clearly and not spiral.

He did not know alot about pshchological learnings but it felt at times like his mother wanted to break his spirit simply for her amusement- as if showing god of how good of a person she was for punishing this vulgar creature.

glancing over to the bed he made no effort to get there, his ankles felt numb from the pain. he didn't want to even look at it. Trying to stay awake felt hard- the pain was too much- he couldn't handle it.

just a moment. 

just a minute,

just a second. of a little sleep.

zero days til birthday-

His eyes shut up as he breathed in suddenly, choking on his tears, his blood, his confusion. Looking around he was calmed by the abscense of his mother, it felt like a soft hand to his cheek, drying the tears he still couldn't reel in, that slipped under his hot cheeks. A little voice saying that it would be alright, He found himself leaning into the nonexistant warmth, the hands were warm he imagined.

In the room walked mother in, looking dead at him as if he wasen't more than an insect. "are you still on the floor." He couldn't help but to shoot her a glare as she walked forward. "get up before an hour or i'll help you myself." and with that she left.

he laid a soft hand on his leg and He flinched so violently, he saw stars of pain in his hazy eyes.

He mumbled to himself trying to reassure himself-  
"The ankle shouldn't stop you from being able to stand." he surmissed, as if he was evaluating faulty construction and not a another human being. "the knee is definetly a problem though"

seemingly without a care in the world, he pressed a hand against his thigh, as he grabbed his leg and reset his knee in one quick gesture.

He opened his mouth to scream.

When walking he had to force himself not to throw up as he stumbled into the kitchen, not giving a glance her way before walking out of the building- towards the damned school he dreaded so much. but not this day. This day was special, he was going to announce his feelings for the only person he found light in when all was darkness.

His foot limped after him slightly- the ankle was definetly a sad sight, it had gotten alot of attention from the 'treatments' as of late. sometimes he questioned if one day she would just barge into his room with an axe of something of that sort, it was honestly a miracle she haden't killed him for 11 years now. 4915 days- 347 126 472 seconds. that was good.

Watching afar he felt himself getting impatient his eyes finding the boy at once- only to stop. He watched the children walk into the school, looking down at his letter for a moment. why was he going here? . the question scared him a little bit. he shook his head as he looked back before walking inside the building. it was all fuzzy- even so it was so clearly in memory. Everyone turning their heads towards him.

The letter in his hands as he held it behind his back as he was about to take a step inside- only to feel someone grab it, pulling it away from his hands. he reached out to get it but it was too late, opened for the whole class to see. He only went on instincs at that point.

Rushing forward in attempt to rip it from the person's hand. The laughter surrounding them- the damn jerk holding it over his head.

stop it.

Leaning forward he didn't realize until it was too late that his teeth had burried into the skin of the arm- the scream- and the pulling. when he was pulled off the letter was no more the focus.

The boy smiled, that child like smile, children could be cruel. He stepped uncomfortably closer and without fanfare closed his hand on the back of his shirt as he began dragging him outside-- He could only grit his teeth together as all the small stones and debris stabbed him through his clothes. Rubbed his skin raw as all forces of friction attempted against him. The boy's voice held the stupid child tone, but also disoppointment. "you still have not learned."

He bit down on his mangled lip and pretended he was okay.

it hurt.

everything hurt.

were they gone now?

Being left on the hard ground he woke up, had he passed out? he figured.

He let his shoulder sag for what he wanted to be a brief second.

he was exhuasted.

he licked his parched lips.

he just hoped he could have some water at home soon.

Humans could only survive 3 days without water.

He was going to punch every single one of that class when he saw them again, His fantasy boy too, He would refuse to speak to them ever again, to let them suffer alone. his shattered ankle ached, alot ached right now. 

His skin felt on fire.

It hurt to breathe.

He held his eyes open, he was only partly sure that the man he could see between flashes of light, was a product of his imagination.

There was no warm hand.

Had that creepy meet-cute 5 hours ago been real or a product of his imagination?

It must have been all the pain, the aching of his body that made it easier for his mind to play tricks on him. He should be more vigilant. It was simply his brain trying to keep his sanity impact.

Maybe it Was a way to cope from the reality he was in.

All the dark nights that had made him hyper aware of the darkness around him.

He hated being in the dark.

It reminded him of a crushing void, of the times he was locked up in a room for days without any contact from human.

He wouldn’t try to escape, he had learned that a shattered ankle and dislocated knee does not take one far.

It hurt.

He forces himself up. Pain. It hurt to breathe. Taking a deep breath he felt a grin spread across his face and a chuckle, as he covered his face with his hands for no one to see.

It hurt.

“If I’m not dead now I’m going to die tonight- as soon as I come home. Is it for the best?” His voice slurred with the blood as he tried choking his giggling.

Tired.

So tired.

The weight on his ankle hurt like it was on fire, but he had to leave- he was used to the pain. Nothing new. It still hurt though.

Everything hurt.

He ended up simply dragging his ankle- it was a lost cause to try standing on it. His mother had always justified her actions as the gods will for every little thing. Piece of shit. 

The uneven ground rubbed the skin raw. It hurt. He spotted the house. He hesitated. Why does he want to go inside? He frowned absently as he thought it was clear why. Why do you want to hurt yourself? Do you deserve it?

He stopped in front of the door- the old, dooming door. He just wanted to get through it; one day he would have everyone pay.

His hand reached for the cold metal doorknob, turning it to the side. The door opened. One step, two steps. “I’m home okasa (okasa means mother or mom in Japanese) the silence loomed in the house.

He stood still, he had a reply on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. He somewhat whisper he had kept his mouth shut. Maybe then he could just sleep a little.

The house was quiet. He waited another moment. He stepped further into the house, there was a note on the counter. He found his gaze fall on the floor as his eyes widen slightly.

“I am sorry god, I cannot take this anymore-

The body was on the floor spread out pathetically with a gun by the head.

-I tried to accept the punishment you gave to me, but I cannot handle it anymore”

Mother.

He did not move, he simply looked at the body. The way he had wished he would see her so many times in his life at night.  
He felt the corner of his lips tug, He bared his teeth, he dared to laugh. He felt his sight going fuzzy from unshed tears- 

this was a dream

don't want to wake up from it

how is he supposed to feel?

His heart did a stupid jump in his throat.

no, there was no way this was real.

He covered his face with a hand, the knuckles to which the skin was rubbed raw. The hand was cold.

He bared his teeth again, terrified and angry at equal measures. he wanted this to be real, he wanted it to not be. she had abandoned him in such a distasteful way. he did not miss her, she had just abandoned him that was all.

was this just a dream?

Somehow the question made him hunch in on himself, as if he could cradle his mountain of unshed tears, of seconds close to his chest, protecting them from outside judgment.

he kept laughing- his lungs hurting as he did so.  
Because if he let go, if he so much as relaxed, he feared his illusion would fade, like mist under the sun.

So even if it hurt, he would not let go.  
Was he safe?  
He wasn’t safe.  
The seconds continued to pass until his lungs was out of air and he had sunken down to lean against the counter, sitting on the floor.

What a funny joke, joke. jokes were funny, Joki. He had never been called by a name, but just in case someone- anyone asked. he would say Joki.


	3. School days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation on Joki’s story a couple of years later

Walking the rough gravel pained him as even if his ankle had gotten somewhat better he was more than certain that it had healed incorrectly. He did not want to share his new name to be Joki as it was for him to use when he escaped this dirty place- but to do that he needed to commotion to pass.

After the ‘incident’ he had been enjoying life to the extent that he was able to, the smell was not bothering anymore and he had stopped himself from reacting to the body anymore. Although it was inevitable that it would be found after a while- when that happened there was two things he could do. Go into foster care or running away.

It was obvious.

Being back to school was weird at first, nobody spoke to him the first week, simply avoiding him from the sheer shape he was in. They were children, they don’t know consequences, they’re too shallow to know that. Their brains had yet to develop the concept of consequences for their actions.

Settling down by a tree he waited for the bell to ring, watching all the children run around in the area he noticed one child walking up to him. He stopped infront of him as he looked up at the child. "What the gods happened to you?" the question lacked in sencerity- it held rather the tone of mockery in a way instead.

"None of your business." he mumbled in reply as he watched the child frown at the response. What the hell did he expect? that he would tell him? The child shook his head as he smiled again. "we should call you something, how about... Hayan?"

it sounded stupid, although it was easier to go by a name even though it was definetly a taunt. He shrugged clearly enough for it not to hurt, giving the boy a glance. "i guess."

The first days that went was somewhat normal, Hayan believed he was in the age of being a teenager or a preteen at least, it seemed that way. New students came to the school and old ones left. January 21st was today, walking into class he took his seat as the new students were coming in- all eyes being on him.

The first lesson went on with ease, nobody commented on him as when the lesson was over he made his way around the teachers desk, grabbing whatever was found in the drawer of the desk before leaving:

He hurried out to the outside and settled under a tree, looking out on the people taking out their lunches to begin eating. The way his stomach ached pained him, he could always steal some- but that would only get him into trouble. 

Looking at the situation he would probably go hungry like usually, there was some girls at a table looking at him and whispering.

Glancing over at what their table was filled with it seemed to be some odd items he had never seen before, “makeup” was it called? Looking at the girls they seemed to be from the west- already seemingly intrigued by him and probably not knowing that his skin was an abnormally shade of pale in comparison to the other kids he believed that there maybe a chance for him to maybe- charm them?

It was a cheap trick that consisted by complimenting and smiling a lot but it could work, he wasn’t interested in them at all but they had food that he wanted. Getting up he smiled the biggest pretty boy smile he had for himself.

A girl giggled as Hayan made his way over to them, he was very good in English- not with writing but in speaking it he was basically fluent. “Hey ladies, whatcha got over here?” He spoke in a confident but soft lover boy tone as he looked over at the girls.

“Ah it’s just Make-up and some bentos, nothing special.”

He tilted his head giving them a charming smile, “really? And what’s your name then? You don’t look to be from around here- n-not that that’s bad but-“ he added in some stutter aswell as a voice sounding like backing off only to get the girls to get hooked.

If anything it seemed to only eager the girls more, “no-no don’t apologize! My name is Mary” definitely western “Mary? Mary, a beautiful name for a fittingly beautiful person.”

Mary blushed at the compliment as she waved her hand nonchalantly, “you shush,”

At that moment he found his stomach twisting in a groan leaving him blushing embarrassedly. The girls went quiet before giggling a little at this- he gave a apologetic smile before leaving the last attack, “I cannot tell if it’s the wonderful food making me ache or the hunger for something or someone else? Maybe I could have a bento so I can decide which it is?”

As the girls looked at each other they looked back smiling “oh here have mine! Make sure to find out which it is” they smiled as one of them handed him a bento, he had to restrain himself from ripping it from her hands and instead taking it hesitantly acting surprised and thankful. “Then have a amazing meal ladies”

And with that he turned his heel hearing them chattering behind him as he made his leave to the tree, arriving at it he almost collapsed as he took a rice ball with his hand, hungrily beginning to eat as he couldn’t keep himself in check any longer than he had needed to. This way such a easy way to get food, maybe there was other ways aswell to get food than this way, it felt tedious and waste of time.

As he chew down the food he turned his way sideways to listen in on a commotion going on, some boys were picking on a smaller kid. He watched as the boy got his food stolen as the boys left, he recognized the frail boy to have been one of the boys in his old class, the boy looked at him pleadingly. What did he want him to do? He had not done anything when that was his own situation.

He turned away, hoping the boy would give up, he never bothered to remember the names, the faces, it was as if it was all crossed out in his mind, they were not people important to remember anyways. As he focused on his food there was a voice that broke the moment of relaxation.

“I-um someone took my food, can I have some of yours?”

Hayan glanced over at the boy who wore a stupid pleading smile on his face, he swallowed before responding, “why?”

It seemed to startle the boy slightly as he tried to fumble with words, “well uh, if you give me it now I can give you some tomorrow Alright? Even more than what you have right now- you don’t get that much at home do you?”

That’s right, basically everyone knew why he would come to school thin as a twig, but nobody bothered ever to act on it. The promise of more food made his mouth drool on the inside, less food today and more food tomorrow.. he hesitated before shrugging handing the boy his food. The boy shined up before thanking him and running away.

More food.. he couldn’t figure out why it would work that way. The next day at lunch time he walked to the boy, hands in his pockets as he spoke, the boy was sitting with the group who had stolen from him just the other way as he voiced. ”hey. Can I have my food?”

The boy turned his head, having stopped laughing and looking around the other boys before back at Hayan. He snorted, “why the hell would I give you food Hayan?” Hayan stood his place as he frowned a bit, “you said that I was going to get food today yesterday.”

“The hell I did, now scram.” He laughed aswell as the other boys as Hayan left, what was he thinking? People are selfish, having ego get to their head, he promised that he wouldn’t fall for it twice.

That day he went hungry all day, when the next day came he was back at the tree with the food he had gotten from the west girls. As he was about to begin the boy once again came back crawling clearing his voice weakly. “Hey um Hayan? Could you give me some food?” He hesitated just once before continuing to eat as he could tell the boy was getting agitated. “Hey, I know you heard me.”

Hayan continued eating as he watched the boy grit his teeth, “just give me it already!” He grabbed the box as Hayan immediately went to act pulling it aswell as kicking the boy so that he staggered backwards. “the hell let go of it already!” “Cut it out!” In a weird unpredictable movement the food fell all the the ground. The boy spit on the ground in anger as he yelled, “the hell is your problem?! Weirdo.” He turned as he left Hayan was left with the mess on the ground. He gritted his teeth in silence as it was another day to be hungry.

The next day Hayan made his way straight to the boy’s table as he stopped by it looking down at the boy, he looked up at Hayan with a sneer as he spoke, “hah? What the hell do you wan-“ he was silenced as Hayan cut him off, “give me back my food, or I’ll beat the shit out of you.”

The boy seemed to freeze up as he let out a strained laugh, “What the hell you talking about ,” as he had finished Hayan replied, “Mary always places my food on that table, I watched as you stole it.”

The boy chuckled lowly as he stood up, remarking, “so? What are you gonna do about it?-“ he was not able to finish as Hayan grabbed the boys head and slammed it into the table as there was a grunt heard, he pulled the boy up by the hair again pushing him down to the ground kicking him in the stomach so that he curled up in a ball on the ground. He lifted the boy up by the collar, hitting the boy straight in the face before letting him lay on the ground. When he looked around to look at the boys at the table they had not even stood up to held, simply staring at Hayan in shock.

He has not changed a single muscle in his face and instead grabbed the box and stood next to the boy, “take my food again and I’ll beat you up until you can’t walk.” With that said he walked away to his tree once again but was stopped by a gurgled yell, “you’re fucking nuts!” He waited a moment before replying, “maybe I am.” and with that he walked to his tree and sat down to eat the food, his fist was bloody and for a long time he felt a odd feeling of satisfaction

Walking into class it didn’t take long for him to get called to the principal, when he got there he sat down on a seat, on the second seat the boy was sitting with a black eye.

Of the years that he had been here it was not too unusual that he ended up here atleast once or thrice in a month.  
“Would you explain to me why one of my students today came into school like this?” The principal spoke giving Hayan a stern look. 

He raised his eyebrows as if surprised, not enough to be worried but enough to piss one off, he let out a dragged out sigh “No miss I cannot”

“He have said that you beat him up and then stole his lunch, you know the consequences of stealing don’t you?

“Expelling is what happens miss” he made a show of how annoying this was for him to endure as he replied.  
“Then why did you do it?“

He gestured with his hands as he spoke, “ I did not, Mary makes my food for me since she’s my girlfriend and I can’t get food at home, I would only beat someone up if someone stole my food which of someone did would lead to them being expelled..”  
It seemed to hit the boy as he tensed up and looked at Hayan who turned his eyes towards him as he spoke.  
“And if he is accusing me of beating him up then that would only mean that he had stolen my lunch, but- you didn’t do that did you?”

The boy looked down, averting from their gazes as he parted his lips to speak a couple of times before closing them again, he shook his head sheepishly. “I erm, I think I mistakenly accused Hayan miss”

“Are you telling me then that you didn’t get beaten up?”

“N,no Miss- i probably hit my head on something it think, it’s coming back to me now.”

The principal sighed as she waved her hand towards Hayan, “you’re free to leave, now off to class.” Hayan nodded with a smile as he left the room, after the class ended the boy held his head lowered during recess, Hayan would lie if he said that he cared for the boy in the first place- he knew that he would mess up but still tried.

After the school was over he mostly wandered the city, he didn’t really have a place to crash at many of the times when the school ended. But there was one night when he tried something else, he took a different route this time, walking to where a specific house was. He saw a window being on the second floor as he with ease climbed up a tree, walking over to the thinnest of branch, he was basically weightless which made it easy to get around always.

He knocked on the window as he waited a moment before Mary opened the window looking shocked for a moment. She whispered half loudly, “Hayan? What are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night!”  
“I don’t have a place to sleep at, can I come in?”

She seemed hesitant at first, but unsurprisingly she let him in, when he was inside she closed the window as she turned her head towards Hayan, “so; you beat up that kid the other day.. what the hell was that about?”

He held a soft gentle voice as he spoke, but made sure to sprinkle in some irritation into it aswell, “he stole my lunch that you made for me, It means too much to me and I got angry that someone took my girlfriend’s lunch.” It was a lie, of course, food was food, it just happened that it was food he didn’t need to steal. Her face flushed up as she looked away brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, she whispered in a soft voice, “girlfriend? I mean- I could if you- I wouldn’t mind being that to you..”

He smiled before turning away taking off his shirt and laying it on the floor, “o-oh, um- I mean if we’re going to do that..” he heard her speak as when he turned around he was met with lips being pressed up against his own, he was startled- this kind of intimacy was not something he was familiar of, as she pulled away he heard her giggle as she spoke, “are you a virgin kisser? That’s adorable, I would’ve thought you were an expert in this!”

“Not really..” he mumbled softly not enough for her to hear as he was pushed onto the bed, when he felt contact with his neck he quickly pushed her back mumbling, “mn n-no, please don’t..” 

When he looked at her he realized what he had just said, had he pleaded? That was a mistake he admitted, he sat up straight clearing his voice. “Sorry i just-“ “are you crying? What’s wrong?” He looked at her oddly when he felt a tear running down his face as he quickly wiped his face.

He could pretend many things, but any type of intimacy felt too much, that was something he could not pretend.

“I um- no, no it’s fine I just-“ he averted his gaze, not willing to see her in the eyes, she liked him when he simply used her to get food and a place to stay, he was unwilling of letting anyone get into his personal circle again. When she reached out his body staggered away from the touch, expecting pain to follow.

“I uhm, uh, you have anything like, alcohol?” He gestured with his hand in a tired motion before shaking his hand absently, “I don’t know. I just- when I was younger touch wasn’t something associated with good.” It was partly true, but just having the words slightly twisted.

Mary looked away before reaching over to her drawer with a smile, “hey, there’s this thing in the west and such.. it makes you feel good.” When she leant back she held a piece of paper rolled around some powder. “You smoke it, and then you feel good.”

He frowned slightly taking the rolled paper into his hand feeling skeptical about it, he looked at her watching her nod as he shrugged before putting it into his mouth as he watched her lighting the tip of it. “Now remove it and blow”

He followed her instructions, coughing a bit at the first try before putting it back and smoking correctly. A wave of high crashes over him as he sighed deeply, feeling all worries pass over him. He didn’t remember much of what happened after that, they probably just laid in bed getting high for the rest of the night.

After that it became more of an urge- the concept of “drugs are bad” are hard to think of when it’s the only thing making one relax.

During one class he had continuously asked Mary for it that she suddenly turned around on him yelling at him; “you never talk about anything else anymore! You’re just like everyone said you were! Just a dumb worthless orphan!” He stopped as he froze. “Is that why you didn’t want to sleep with me?! Because you’re just a drug addicted gay?! Never speak to me again!” 

And with that, it was over. Honestly, he never really liked her in the first place but- what did he expect. Why was he the one getting yelled at? Wasn’t she the one making him try it? Was it really his fault? Was it?

As the day went by he got called into the principal’s office, a lot of it was a blur.

“I have gotten an report of which says that you have raped one of your female classmates”

What.

“I will have to expel you.”

Now he was standing outside the school, not knowing what to think- what happened- what went so wrong? He blinked. He gritted his teeth.

“Fine! I don’t need the school! I’ll take care of myself!”

As he smiled triumphantly he could feel his cheeks getting wet as he laughed, “fucking- I don’t need anyone- I’m fine being alone again- I’m-“

He fell silent as the last part came out as a whisper “alone..”


	4. Log entry number X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time Winter von schnee worked with Bridget Teine was something intresting.

Log Entry number 5.

When Bridget began working at the facility she did not expect to have anyone to catch her interest. This was a work place after all and she intended to treat it as one.  
Log entry number 7

Someone caught her attention.

It was an afternoon; Bridget had no particular meetings she had to attend to that she found interesting. Many found her as the head scientist for the science of the empire as good, she had her usual red hair in a short hair cut that was very much boyish.But it Wasn’t until a certain Doctor came to visit often as they began working on “icarus” it was a protocol to which the idea of soldiers developing wings was involved.

Bridget often found Winter to be her kind of woman, with fine facial features but strong character and sharp eyes, beautiful and strong, a true beast difficult to tame, bridget really fell in love when she met her, although it was not easy to start a conversation with Winter since she didn't seem to be in the least interested in knowing Bridget or even greeting her just for being polite.Winter didn't usually speak to her or take a look at her, it didn't matter that Bridget was the head scientist in the place, Bridget didn't exist unless it was necessary, though from time to time the two had to do collaborations together.they were for example paired up when it came to experiments on drugs for the soldiers as it was said.

Log entry number 18

There was a strangle attraction of Bridget when it came to winter. she remembered well their first meeting, when Winter had just arrived to the military base. Winter had stood up to a doctor whom had questioned her ethnicity and her being there. what had hooked her at the moment were her eyes, oh those bright icy eyes, full of life and passion and never get tired of them.

But unlike winter thhat from the beginning she simply saw her as an unimportant person, and a very irritating one, who later became an annoying person who seemed amused to be constantly calling her attention, something she never pleased the red head becuase she was definetly not worth her time, not even her attention.Bridget would be unable to stop seeing her, as time passed, the icy queen was more and more stuck in her mind, it was that much that she would daydream about the woman, at first they were kind dreams, where she dedicated soft looks at her and little smiles, the scientist always wished to see one of her smiles."it must be a beautiful sight" she would mutter to herself as she watched her discuss something with a co-worker. nobody had ever seen her smile or have any kind of facial expression beyond a neutral face or a look of contempt, for that reason she entered the category of women who looked like a typical mean person.

There were times when her gaze was placed on the elves back although little by little her curious eyes would slip down the woman's body to the hips and down to the final part.

Log entry number 22

she wouldn't allow her intrest to prevent her work but she would at times shoot a gaze of two. but oh she'd be a liar if she didn't know what she would give for having that brain In her hands. even though the bad things she would think she would shrug it off with the explanation of that it was a natural thing.

For scientific reasons she wasen't able to resist just imagining her naked, to inspect the female elf physice, her fascination would wander from the innoccent desire to seeing her happy, to something more sinister, wanting to see the expressions of pain, not just kind smiles but also with bright eyes full of passion, of love and desire for her, just as her own eyes looked at her since the first time her eyes made contact with hers. there was a hidden urge as well to be the only one to observe those emotions.

Her gazes would grow more unsubtule gazes upon her. whenever she would be caught she would brush it off"Sorry Schnee but I Must defend my pride in saying that making things up are not a very efficient way to handle things as these.”

Of course she wasn’t racist, she was just filled with questions about elves, nothing wrong with curiosity.  
it was more like a fascinated obsession than love. 

Log entry number 37

As it was now, Bridget was sitting in her office looking through the results of one of the first tests of the drug. She found Winter to have been too cautious so she had went ahead and start making progress on her own. As she was reading through the notes the door slammed open. She glanced up as she kept her calm deminor.  
"how dare you go behind my back?! Testing the drug on civillians is utterly reckless!" The silver haired elf yelled as she was walking towards the red hair in a pure fury.  
Ah. It's there again. "Are you stupid or something? this is all outside the protocol Teine!" She stopped right infront of Bridget's desk, icy eyes piercing through her as all attention was directed towards Bridget now as she wanted. That beautiful passion that she was so fasinated by. It was true that Bridget wanted to see more progress be made as right now the pace was too slow in her eyes, but more than anything she wanted to she how the high elf would react to her going behind her back, she could not brush her off now.  
She stood up calmly as she smiled, "My dear Schnee, didn't i tell you that if we were seeing no progress being made then i would act accordingly?" "Putting civillians in pain for your sick experiments is no way to quicken the progress! I just got a file to which had a case where the bones had grown out through the ribs! killing the victim immidietly."

Bridget gave her a look as she sighed as she proceeded to take of the visor over her eye and promptly closing it. "Winter." She placed the visor on the table as she moved to place herself infront of winter. "I see you hold concern for civillians, truly, but you have to see the fact that we are in a war right now. Yes there are of course repercussions to what i am doing but simply not doing anything my dear.."  
She placed a hand under the elves chin, my the skin was a lot fairer than it looked like. "Is as if you allowing thousands more civillians die, and even if you do disagree to the descisions i make." She paused as she leant in close to the ear. "It does not matter, since i'm the one calling the shots here." As she moved away she could see a brief moment of uncertainty flare up as it died out just as quickly in the cold eyes. "If anything, i would suggest you getting on my good side rather than giving me the cold treatment, maybe then i'll take your opinions into thought hm?"

Winter stood frozen in place as the words sank in, she gritted her teeth as she clenched her fist. "You're dispicable." She turned her heel as she walked out the door, leaving the female in the room content. This was a game of authority, and she could not wait until she had the elf all unwinded before her eyes.

Log entry 40

As time continued it surprised Bridget that the cold elf made an attempt to get on her good side more often than not. Fascinating. As she had backed the elf up in a corner she acted accordingly, even swallowing her pride in the process as to be able to make the shots when it came to the project. Truly, this thi- person was something out of the extrodinary.

As Winter was reading up on the reports of the latests test runs she always had a frown on her face, as it was not- the subjects would go through a weeks constant pain and then have a ridiculous short amount of time to recover. Only two days.

She knew she honestly did have a certain amount of authority in this project, but because she was constantly needing to be the one to make the process more safe, most of the staff was on Teine's side since she WAS making progress. She bit on her nail as she fact stood. If she was going to get descisions fall through she would need to butter up to her, even if she disliked it.

She was very much worried over the power dynamics as it quickly could turn into something she wouldn't be able to get out of. She just needed to remember that. She entered Teine's room with the reports as she spoke while reading. "I came to notice that these few reports give the patients a lot less time to recover than what is healthy." She did not want to see the frown that would be on her face as she simply stopped infront of the desk holding out the report. "I would suggest we do something about it."

She watched as Teine examined the report before shooting her a glance. "what do you suggest we'd do about the situation?" This was Winter's chance to get her word in, even if she was well aware of the fact that Teine was time and time again abusing her power. "give them four days to recover, atleast. Otherwise i am not willing to continue participating on this project." The threat seemed to have caught Teine off guard as she raised her eyebrows. Truly, Winter did not believe threats was a good move, especially with putting her job on the line as well, but at the moment it was her last ditch effort to avoid having to become a dog to get what she wanted.

The woman in front of her let out a short muted laugh as she looked down at her lap. She looked up seemingly amused. "Winter. Are you threatening me? Why would it matter if you left?" Winter held a frown on her face as the women continued. "If you decide to leave you're contributing to the deaths of innoccent people, you're aware of that aren't you?" Winter did not move a single muscle as she listened, "Are you really about to do such a thing?" She stood up, placing herself behind Winter as she placed her hands on her shoulders, "We both know you do not want that right? You're a kind person who wants to save people."

Winter opened her mouth to respond as she was quickly cut off, "You don't need to worry about the patients holding a grudge against you, you know what? I'll make sure i'll take the blame for the reprecussions. how does that sound?" Winter was not allowed to answer as she continued. "how about whenever you have a problem, you'll come to me hm? I'll make sure that you won't have anyone blaming you for the mistakes that you make if so alright?"

Trapped. That's the feeling she was feeling, she felt small and at ones mercy. She didn't say anything as she was patted on the head as if a child, "you have nothing to worry about, so all you have to do is speak to me before you change my progress right? sounds good?"  
Winter could only be silent as she lacked words, when she left the office she could only frown. There were silent alarms going off her head saying something was wrong, but she couldn't tell what it was. She was left feeling sick to her stomach as she began walking again.

End of log entry number 40


	5. Log entry number X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a discovery causes for a big change.

Log entry number 41  
After the confrontation Bridget had noticed a behavior change, Doctor Schnee had now as of recently been less active on the project as of whole since the great success of "subject Pheonix". It had astonished the people at the lab that a person had been able to recover and come to finishing before estimated time of the process of the drug to work, 5 days with recovery. Truly, it was a miracle. Bridget had noted that Winter was now spending less time at the lab now and more time at the field, she felt anxious about her being so long gone.   
The times she was at the lab she was doing her best to avoid Teine, always making a B-line to her room to work on reports. It- frustrated her. She did not like that fact that Schnee was now more distant than ever before, and that she was now going behind her back. As it came to her notice she once came over very interesting report- or rather a blueprint of some sort. A "G.M.D"? she seemed to have been correct in the theory that her colleague was indeed going behind her back. It bothered her, but she came to realize that if this was something important not meant to be seen by others. Looking into it she came to discover that doctors were not allowed to work on devices such as this, even if it was a genius creation truly. But the fact stood that in fact that if this was to come out that would ruin the doctor's whole career.  
..Log Entry number 42, seems that someone needs to be put in place.

As the masqurade came, which was an advent to which high ranked officers, scientists and doctors where gathered to be at a dance, a way to show their gratitude for their service of the country truly. Everyone was going to be there. As Bridget stood on the balcony she was deep in thought, if she'd be fully honest she only had this job for science. Everytime Winter would come with something to complain about it would grind her gears to the core. She honestly did not care about what happened to the failed experiments. They were all necissary sacrifaces in the name of science in her eyes. She blew out a puff of smoke as she held down her cigarette. It was a bad habit of hers yes, but she wasen't even human for that matter so it did not matter in the end game. The fact that she only lived to fulfill her own desires could be seen as selfish, which she was. But it didn't bother her what others thought of her, they wouldn't have time to do so as this was a time of war, Caring about one scientist having unnerving tendencies is as if saying you have to focus on a fly when your house is burning up. It was not important.  
She put out the cigarette against the wall as she put her hands in her pockets, deciding to take a look inside the party. Her eyes scanned the room as they quickly stopped one one group in particullar. ah, she didn't know why she was surprised at the fact the Pheonix was there, the guest of honor. He had another man in company as he drew her attention. A fox? She calmed herself as she remembered that to humans the foxes basically looked like normal humans to them. It was a theory they had in the lab, that human's are unable to see a foxes ears nor tail, she herself could only see the ears. It was assumed only other foxes could detect the tails as it was said to be a sort of ranking system. It had intriuged her as a youngster, but now her eyes only had focus on one person. Talking to the two men was a woman with silver hair tied up in a pretty hairstyle, she was wearing a beautiful dress that did wonders to her upper curves honestly. With a smile on her face she made her way over to the group.

"schnee!" She exclaimed, watching as the elf tensed quickly at her voice being heard. Turning around she met Teine with a cold look, clearly not intrested in humoring her by speaking to her. "Teine." "i was hoping to find you here" Bridget smiled as Winter narrowed her eyes, "yes, well sadly i did not." Bridget laughed off the insult as her voice bacame more serious, "i wish to speak to you about something schnee." "Teine, i would rather not." Pulling out her hands from her pockets he placed a hand on the elves shoulder as she spoke. "i insist that it is in your intrest that you listen." Schnee froze for a moment before sighing, "i will be back gentlemen."

Taking her out on the balcony Bridget had started smoking on another cigarette as she leaned against the railing. "well, what is it?" Winter cut to the chase, not afriad to show her displeasure in having to speak to her. "i wanted to congratulate you on your promotion, though truly i do miss seeing you in the lab." Teine went on as she blew out some smoke. "you deserve it." Winter tensed a little as she kept standing arms crossed. "Why are you bringing it up?"Bridget stood up straight as she put her hand in her pocket."wouldn't it be sad i someone found out you were breaking the rules? because i had no idea doctors were allowed to develop unsupervised military equipment like- what was it called- ah right, a g.m.d?"

Winter froze in her breath, her chest tigthened as she felt her breath growing hard. "what? you- no you wouldn't-" Even though she despised Tenie she atleast trusted her to not get her fired. "oh- no dear don't get upset," Bridget made her way over as she hugged the vulnerable elf. "you need to hear me out, i know you love this job very very much, so. i have a suggestion. If nobody knows that a doctor made it but was made by someone else you'll be able to keep your prided job." She tilted up the scared face as she spoke in a comforting voice, "if people knew of the G.M.D as having been made by Bridget Teine, then Winter von schnee won't have to worry about this small little hiccup right?" Winter could only nod as she was feelt the panic creeping up on her, this was the worst- she couldn't breathe as she tried keeping her composure. She couldn't lose this job, she couldn't. Bridget stroked her head comfortingly as she spoke. "There's no need for this reaction dear, i'll take care of it hm?" She let go as she stroked her arms up and down comfortingly.  
The elf was a wreck of the prideful self she was, just a frozen mess as tears prickled the corner of her eyes. "we'll talk more about this when we get back alright?" "mm.." As Bridget left Winter was left leaning against a pillar as she stroked her arms comfortingly as she wished she was anywhere else. Trying to take deep breathes as she curled up in a ball. "you--you bitch--" That night felt a lot longer than she whished it to be. She had just given away her greatest making just to have someone else take the credit for it. damn it.


	6. Blessing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Visit to the grave

“Hey mom.”

All thoughts feel empty when doing this; even when he came here every year and at least had done it more than six times now. There was a bitter taste in the mouth that compelled him to speak all things on his mind right now. Taking a lengthy breath he shoved his hand in the pocket.

“Honestly, I don’t know why I’m still coming here. I guess it’s just the motherly love hm?”

Kneeling down he reached down picking up the dead flowers on the grave as he tossed them away nonchalantly over his head.

“Oh right, I came to refill your flowers, that’s it. Did you know that Kiku (きく)are used for funerals in order to get you to heaven? Wasn’t that something with your gods or somethin..”

He bit the inside of the cheek as he spoke. “That’s why I’m here for exactly that to happen.” Standing up he held out a couple red flowers, red spider lilies.”So, I got you something fitting, Higanbana (彼岸花), heard it had the meaning for abandonment and stuff and somethin about it giving bad fortune for the spirit whose grave has it on.”

Joki tossed the flowers carelessly at the grave. “That’s why I keep coming here, to prevent you from leaving, so you can get what you deserve.”

He had a satisfactory smile on his face as it soon faded. “Though being real here, if it were for me- that day you left was honestly the best thing that could’ve happened.”

“I truly. Do despise you mother. I hope you burn in hell.”


	7. Races

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a summary on all the races in the series as well as being a short series to which explains some things in the series that might be unclear.

As the world itself which is called novo mundo (meaning the new world in latin) was created after what is called the great destruction to which is theorised that the world once had a human race before to which caused a war that exterminated the whole human race temporarily. After that some humans came back and some evolved as well as some races coming into fruition. As of now there are 10 different races, some are theorised to be races as of whole as some are just theories.

The many races are the primirary race of humans, sub race of the different elf races as well as more. The races are often categorized in three different groups, spirit, human and animal. Each race filling out different cirterias as to be counted into a race. The human race is the race to which has the fastest reproduction rate, making them the race with the largest population of all the races. The human race as of rate has 90% of it's population at least knowing 3 different languages fluently as the world has so many different languages.  
The human class consists of all the elf races, to which is broken down into three sub races. The most predominantly known is the wood elf race to which is considered as the middle class race of the three.

The wood elves mostly live in the eastern parts of europe as they tend to stick to the thick woodlands most of the time. The difference to their ears is that they thend to aim back and be more 'elf like' than the other two sub races. They're culture often revolve around nature as a whole and helping the plant life grow as well as protecting it. They tend to go with the moral of only taking as much as you need, greed is a very taboo thing to the wood elves to which explains their ill image they have of the humans as they often tend to take more than they need causing the elves territory to be a death row for any human as they don't take too kindly to thieves. Some scientists find some groups to play into the old native americans with their beliefs and traditions. Their most prided gods are the sun and the moon as they see the two as the ones to control life and death.

In the lower class and mostly romantisised in fiction, they have many names, Droll elves, blood elves, night elves, but you will most know them as 'vampires'. Having originally been wood elves to which came to presude the life style of the art of the hunt, they came to find that blood was a great way to refill their energy in an efficient way. One of the more popular choices of blood would be human blood. As more began following the footsteps they began adapting to hunting during the night as it was easier to catch the prey off guard. They developed improved night vision, their mouth and teeth developed to only be able to consume blood as their bodies as well grew incredible constitution as their bodies now developed in a way that basically meant that if they ate once they theoretically wouldn't need to eat for another year. As they got adjusted to living during the nights their skin grew pales as their eyes grew a more red color. It's said that there once was a pact between the humans and the elves, but for some reason the humans grew prideful, as they trapped the elves in a part of the forest where the sun never shined they were destined to be forever unable to leave as the moon was never up long enough for them to be able to move to another forest. Today many know that part as the 'black market' Wolfshire.

Now the most graceful and respected elf sub race would have to be the high elves, having quickly seen the humans intentions they moved to live in the north in order to always make sure that they were a safe distance away. All the northern elves now for a fact come from Thundra as the north is called, cross breeding is seen as a foul act as they would cringe at the idea of having dirty human blood in their veins. The high elves are seen as the highest class as they're incredible to adapting to their enviroments as well as having incredible intellect. They're the largest reason that technology has been able to develop as far as it has, even having a rare blood line to which is presumed being able to manifest actual magic.The high elves often try relying on technology instead of their natural abilities as this elf race is the ones whom always thinks a step ahead, always having a backup plan. They're apperance is often pale with blue eyes as well as many blonde, some even having a silver colored hair at birth. The prodominent feature being their tall thin ears to which is said are very sensetive as the other elves has that trait as well. The race themselves have a tendency to look down on the other elf races, personality wise they tend to be strict and reserved, not many are very talkative. At the moment of time the land of Tundra has a temporary allience to the european human nation the empire (about where germany is). All though their alliance is temporary, neither side is very happy to interact as they hold an equal amount of disgust to each other.

The last human category race would be the Nefrid race. A race to which is very much a minority race as it is very rare to see them interacting with any race as it is. The race is often seen having similarities to the folk lore of the 'siren' as both share prodominent traits. The Nefrid race is a race to which is very reserved, as the race has a tendency to be very drastic between being either a friendly race to being a feral one. They are said to have come from greece as they tend to live where the water is warmer as their bodies are adapted to more tropical environments. They're most known for their aquatic features, as they are semi-terrestrial meaning that they live both on land and in water. They have features which come to use in water but do stay when on land as well, this can range from their hands having fins between the fingers (they do tend to become smaller as they're on land) The ones that spend more time in water tend to have a tail to which helps them in the water, for the ones spending more time on land, when they do go in water their legs will automatically stick together. They won't form a full tail with scales but do have a thin layer of translucent material hold the legs together as well as the feet sticking together to form a back fin. Their ability to breathe both in water and in water to which very much resembles what crabs have. They have gills on their necks to which can be used when under water as well as on land. Some Nefrids whom spend their whole life in water can develop gills on heir lower body as well, most of the times around the place of the stomach to the sides. The Nefrids have an ability to which can lure their prey in with an hypnotizing song to which pulls the victim in, the more feral Nefrids do this to people whom disturb the water as they don't take too kindly to visitors. Their relationship with the humans have always been very rocky.

Going on to the spirit class, these races tend to bear resemblence to old folklores such as asian or irish folk lore. These races are always hard to identify as they're great in tricking humans causing the spirit class to be one of the most unknown classes of all.

One of the most known or well refered to when talking about the spirit class is the Banshee race or Yokai race.These tend to be spirits to which are able to a degree take on a human form, the race as if of itself are known to be basically grow thousands of years old, often seen as sadistic jokesters in difference to the playful fox. Their main abilities tend to be with sounds, able to create high frequency sounds or manipulate ones hearing specifically. They have a tendency to make creatures ear drums burst when playing with them which can be seem as straight out sadistic. Many in this race have higher chances of having the mental disorder of sociopathy as the race usually have a harder time feeling empathy for other creatures. They love playing mind tricks or manipulating creatures weaker than them, the reason is unknown.Other than that there is not much information on them as they're hard to detect.

The second race in the spirit class is the trickster of the races, known as the kitsune, the japanese word for fox, which is quite literally what they are. More often than not they're from the beginning foxes to which have a wide range of abilities, one being their human like disguise. Their system works very differently in the prospect of their human apperance. To normal humans they simply look like humans, however- when it comes to any other race their human form appears to have a pair of fox hears. Parts on their human form such as the human ears have no function to them than being a cover up. They have very sensetie hearing as well as enhanced senses that range from sight to smell to hearing. As one of the most prodominent features of theirs, only being able to be seen by other foxes or beings considered to be demi gods even are able to see their ears as well as their tails.The tails are very important as it shows their rank, with each tail they unlock a new ability, they can gain up to nine tails to which when they do they are said to ascend to the higer above which is still unknown to which it means. The race is thought to have abilities such as shapeshifting to which is a hard techniuqe to be used as it requires the user to break their bones or manipulating their bone structure to which requires high pain tolerance as well as practice. Many of the race are the known to be incrediblly agile and quick witted. Many of the race preferes to play pranks on humans as they are tricksters as gene. They also are known to be quite clever witted as they are quick to adapt as well as be qucik thinkers. They have a talent for solving unexpected problems as they also have a talent for pretending. It is also said that they have a alluring aura to them to which causes people around them to be more drawn to them as well as being more easily attracted to the fox. Humans and foxes have one of the worst relationships as foxes are almost always treated unjust, in some cuntries as the empire the foxes need to wear a certain jacket in order for the humans to be able to differentiate between foxes and humans, this caused the fox population to decrease rapidly as they prefer to live in the parts of the world where their more accepted.

The Animal class is very much viewed very drasticlly differently depending on the place, many of the class are simply put in there because they have any animal like features even if it may be incorrect.

One of the most prideful races is the Dragon race, The dragon race is a very unknown race as long ago they where shunned from their home lands as it has been recorded to one of the humans most despicable act as it was comfirmed that the Dragons was at the time not seen as an actual urgent threat. They had been forced to move time and time again because of the humans growth they would get into the Dragons lands and chase them away as they would eat the animals, even though these creatures are able to bring great destruction it has only been recorded a few times of it happening. There are a wide range of different dragons recorded, though because of the rarity of them and the near extinction of them many of the types was unable to be recorded as of the moment. It is said that their fire breathing ability is a combination of them having two sacs with both holes that enter the mouth. in the stomach there is in all creatures a gas created that would be transported to the gas bladder to which the gas is stored ( methane gas = Ch4) as the dragon is to use the fire it is moved up to the mouth to which through a muscle (for now called squeezing muscle) which stores piexoelectric crystals ( gastrolith) to which when sqeezed creates a spark which creates the fire. The stones are often a diet for the dragons like how some birds eat stone to help their stomachs as ffor the dragons case it's to help the fire. Many of the scales of the dragon are actually made out of bone, which surprised many scientists as the many shades of colors it could take on. The wings of the dragon bears much resemblance to the Pterosaur as well as the bat meaning the wings would be like the arms as well. Since the scales give protection it helpes their other bones to which are hollow to allow flight, the hollow space in the bones are filled with methane (Ch4) which helps them being more light and agile in the air. Because of their massive size this would cause the trouble of their need to have a large intake of food to which then would result in the humans interfeering. There a number of different dragons, mainly on by the difference of the horns scales etc. The one with the least information being the golden dragon, thought to have had the ability to polymorph, but this theory cannot be comfirmed as there is only a single case of it having been seen as otherwise it is just seen as a legend or a folklore.

The zeric race is a race to which is theorised to be connected to the zodiac as well as the stars. There has only been counted a case of 12 ever exisitng. Other than that there is no more information as such than the theory that can change their apperance to be more human like. It is said that the cappricorn of the signs would have ram like horns or any ram like features.

There's one race to which can't be even counted as a race also known as "demi gods". They're believed to be the only race to have abilities unable to be explained through science.


	8. apprehension

“So, Joki.” Rei hummed has he was laying upon the rusty piece of metal that was presumed to be a ‘car’ from the old ages, it was by a tree in a field with wheat as Joki and Rei had gotten it going only to crash into a tree with it. Joki hummed back in response whom was sitting with his back against the tree, this place was common for them to hang out on now, as it was always so calming.

“Have you ever been really scared?” The question had Joki being taken off guard as the grass in his mouth stopped swaying back and forth as a silence was created. He hesitated, choosing his words carefully as he observed Rei’s face to see if it was just a question that wouldn’t be minded if it was brushed off. It didn’t seem that way from the way that Rei had been more quiet this afternoon. “What do you mean.” Rei wasn’t giving any hint of what he was thinking as he spoke, “I disobeyed an higher officer some days ago, which scared me because- not that he’d hurt me but what the consequences would be.”

Ah. “Well-“ Joki began as he was trying to change the subject, only to be interrupted by Rei’s voice. “Have you ever been scared of the consequences of disobeying someone?”

...

Joki turned his head awkwardly away as he was shifting uncomfortably, he scratched the back of his head. “Why’re you asking me about that kind of thing..”  
“Well- I just thought- no offense but you seem like the type to disobey orders.” There the silence was again, Joki rolled his bottom lip between his teeth as he spoke. “One time.”

“It was with my mom, she used to drink stuff not good for her and me being around seemed to agitate her so- one day I ran away kind of. I hid by the river.”

As Joki ran he spotted a part under the bridge to which he could hide under, under it was barrels to which a traveler owned as they were now currently empty. One good thing for his small size was the fact that he could fit easily into places others couldn’t, he ran over as he hid in a barrel- she wouldn’t find him here.

“I thought she wanted me gone so you bet it surprised me when that was wrong too.”

As Joki had by now almost fallen asleep as he had a tendency to do when low on energy, he suddenly jolted as he heard footsteps approaching as he could hear mumbles of two voices. “I believe my son might be playing hide and seek with me, would you allow me to check your shop?” By now Joki has slammed a hand over his mouth- terrified that even at the noise like breathing would give him away. Please say no- “well I guess it would be fine, just get it done quickly.” God- god he hated that shopkeeper- he didn’t even know him-

He’s so close to escaping-

And yet, so far away. As those words ripped away all hope he has mustered up as of until now- now he could only suffer silently as he was terrified of his heart beating out of his chest. He can hear her footsteps. They’ve quiet, but they shake through his entire being.

“Sweetie? You can come out now, I won’t hurt you.”

He feels himself shifting in place as it’s getting uncomfortable, but he won’t submit. She’s promised such brutal things for disobedience. Or at least brutal for the now 6 year old. He hears her whistle like calling for a dog. “Come on out!”

How did she know he was here? It was so dark now after all- maybe she was doing this daily at her job.

“If you come out now and apologize I promise I’ll be a bit softer on you hm?”

That’s a tempting offer- maybe he will be able at least for some hours to be happy with mom. Do normal son and mom things like drawing or something like that. Yet, she tends to be very, very, very harsh. He would want to keep the food he had taken in to stay in his stomach this time.

Is he being ungrateful? She let’s him to stay under a roof after all- and maybe this is still just a phase in her life that’ll get better later on.

In a low mutter, he hears, “I’ll be honest with you here, you’re only making this worse for yourself.”

Tears begin building up in the corner of his eyes as they start running down his face the closer she gets. She starts at one end with the boxes, removing lids or opening them slightly.

Closer.

Closer.

He can feel himself getting lightheaded from the lack of air now- he gasps.

And, when light peeks through into his own hiding place, he know it’s over.

The lid is ripped open.

“Hayan.” She hisses with a grin on her face, a predator who just found her prey.

He begins sobbing uncontrollably, trying to press himself to the bottom of the barrel.

“I’m sorry mom! I’m sorry, I’m sorry I- I got scare-“

She janks him up from the barrel, he should’ve really gotten the hint. She didn’t find him because she cared for him. Who else would she put her anger on? She looks gleeful but also terrifyingly angry.

“But even when I was calling out for you, you chose not to show yourself”

“M sorry, I was frightened-“

Now, she kneels, wiping the tears away from his face with her thumb. Truly- no wonder nobody interferes with a caring mother helping her child.

“Not an excuse, now let’s go home now hm?”

“That night didn’t-“ Joki paused, back to where he was sitting against the tree, once again choosing his words carefully. “go as one would hope.” “Did punish you?” Rei hummed as Joki mumbled. “You could say that.


	9. First date part 2

As the wind licked Joki's face his top priority was to hold on, and tight. He did admit that this was a very pleasant feeling as his stomach tickled at the high speed they were going in. Looking down on the ground he could only see how the stones flew by underneath.  
He was caught off guard as they began slowing down, coming to a stop by a tree to which Rei took off his helmet as he turned his head around with a smile, "did you like it?" Joki looked at him with uncertainty, looking down on the motorbike itself. "They only have these in the army..." he began as he trailed off when seeing Rei tilt his head slightly with a hum. "yea, i know." He got off the bike, putting the helmet on the seat as he took some steps away from the vehicle. Joki saw this as his que to get off the vehicle as well, as he did so he actually took a moment to take in the surroundings.  
They had gone outside the city- from the forest they had gone to a road to which there were stone barriers to which divided the road from the wheat fields which had a golden glow to them in the sun. It was peaceful. "where are we?" Joki mumbled, not having come to notice that he had said so out loud. A hum came from the other man as he leaned against the stone barrier, he might've as well sat on it, "i dunno really, found this place when i was just going around on my free time." Rei was stuck his hands into his pockets of his jacket as he leaned back. Joki didn't know how to reply- it was strange as Rei seemed- calm- but still happy. It- was strange. He moved over to sit on the stone barrier as he leaned his back against the tree, Having no jacket he tensed as a chilly gust of wind hit him as he stroked his arms comfortingly from the cold. He was able to lower his body tempreture but would often struggle doing the oppisete. Rei seemed to take notice. "you from the warmer asian parts hm?" Joki shot a glance with a hum, observant aren't we.

He caught his tongue between his teeth, replying back snarkily never caused any luck for him in the past- "observant aren't we?" Damn it, he always let his words slip before thinking it over. He expected the worse- being caught of guard when Rei suddenly burst out laughing- not tauntingly though. He had a nice laugh. "sorry- i was just not expecting such a good reply- well- pfff ha-" He continued chuckling as he began recovering, "guess i'm not the only one that's straight froward then, well- you seemed to be shivering that's all." In the end he smiled warmly, Joki turned his head with a tsk. "It's nothing- i just had a gust of cold air hit me-" he stopped as he watched Rei taking off his jacket as he held it out to Joki. He sat there starring at him. Uh. What was he trying to do? Rei shook it slightly, "take it, i'm fine on my own." Joki's eyes narrowed as he looked at him while cocking an eyebrow. "you're just giving it to me?" "borrowing it" "'borrowing'?" Joki dragged out the word as if it was the most strange word he had heard. "what's that." Rei tilted his head frowning slightly as he put the jacket infront of Joki in the end, "it means, that i allow you to use one of my things for a certain amount of time. When that time is up- you hand it back." Joki frowned even more now, he leaned forward quickly grabbing the jacket as he eyed Rei. "What if i just didn't return it? Isn't that easier?" Rei shrugged, "Why would you steal it if i'd let you use it?" "Isn't it easier to always have it?" "I don't see how that makes it easier if i'll just borrow you it anyways."  
A silence fell as Joki was eying Rei, whom did not seem worried to the least. While doing so he saw that he was wearing a simple tank top, on the back was strange markings. "what's that." Rei hummed as he turned his head to see Joki pointing at him, more specifically at his back. "ah, these?" Rei hummed as he pulled off his tank top to be able to show better. It surprised Joki when he saw a pair of vermilion colored wing tattoos on the back, stretching from the shoulder down to the start of his trousers, there was also a faint scar stretching over the back. When Joki had gotten a look at it Rei began putting it on once again as he spoke. "they're-" He trailed off as if thinking through his words with great care or deciding if he was going to tell something or not, "They're my wings- well- whenever i don't use them they turn into tattoos- mostly an illusion. It takes a lot of practice and experience to be able to turn them back into the back." Joki looked at him with curiosity now as he spoke, "wings?" He had heard of the scientists reccently having come up with a drug which allowed one to develop wings in the army- but that proccedure was only given under very specific circumstances. "Would you like to see?" The voice shot Joki out of his thoughts as he looked up the man looking at him with his full attention now. He wasen't serious was he? "uh sure."

As he replied he watched as in a strangely magical way how the skin temporarily stretched before feathers emerged into a pair of majestetic vermilion wings- Rei didn't even seem to flinch as Joki's eyes fell wide. The feathers vermilion was eye catching as it automatically drew ones eyes towards them, he could feel a wave of heat radiating now from him. "Kuso!" Joki blurted out as he had to refrain himself from tipping over the edge of the stone barrier. Rei let out a small chuckle as he stretched his arms as well as the wings- before slumping down as the wings folded back. "Holy- you weren't fucking kidding!" Joki continued expressing his disbelief as Rei mumbled. "gods- really you get so cramped when they're not used honestly," Turning his head he saw the shocked look on the pale face. "what."shinseina tawagoto..." He crept forward as he reached out a hand to touch before retracting it, unsure of what was real. "are they real?" Rei chuckled as he scratched the back of his neck, "yea? didn't you see them before at the bar?" "shut up they still could've been some illusion" Rei snorted as he watched the uncertain hand fidget. "go on, find out if they're real." Joki attempted to hide the anticipation he held as he reached out to touch the feathers, he expected meeting thin air as he then was met with the feeling of a soft texture underneath his fingertips causing him to tense for a moment at the realization that they were in fact real. "oh-" he trailed his tips down the soft sleek texture, "oh wow-" He didn't realize that he had moved closer as he was now using both hands to pick and poke through the warm fluff of feathers. "they're really soft." As he let his hands explore the large wings he came to a certain place of the wings to which made suddenly the wings puff up as they ruffled- causing Joki to jolt- did Rei just shiver? Taking a look at his face he could tell that was the case."ah- avoid that part- it's really sensetive-" Rei chuckled awkwardly as taking a closer look Joki had without knowing moved up to which the feathers were as fluffiest as well as smallest. "oh." He removed his hands haistily as he had for a moment forgotten that Rei very much was still attatched to those wings.  
As the hands was removed the wings ruffled as Joki quickly found that the warmth from the wings left his body now cold and longing for the warmth once again- even when he had admittedly put on the jacket. He wouldn't admit though. Though one thing lingered in his mind. When he was closer to Rei he could sense that he was radiating- more than humans usually would do. Now he knew Rei wasen't a human but the fact was that he didn't know what he was at all for that fact. "How come you radiate so much heat?" Rei shot his eyes towards Joki with a hum as he looked up once again before speakig. "well, you could say that my body absorbs heat from the day and stores it up- it just spills over sometimes." Rei smiled- though it wasen't like the smile he had before- more of the kind that said that he didn't want to add more information on the subject. huh. "oh, that's intresting." Joki mumbled as he could see the sun beginning to set. "ah i guess it nears the close of our little hang out." Rei mumbled as he stood up, he took a couple steps before stopping. "can i meet you here next week?" He looked at the red haired man, this had been a lot nicer than just wandering around aimlessly. "sure."


	10. Courtesy call

The war of the world was something everyone was aware about. I was no less aware of it than anyone else would be. The conflict between the iron army and the empire was nothing to sneeze at.

The sound of the alarm in the loud vehicle in the air, the speaker announced, “Bereiten Sie sich darauf vor, innerhalb von 1 Minute freigelassen zu werden” as it said so one soldier stood up. “Well then, duty calls.” He moved to where the air lock would open as the speakers counted down. “5..4...” “guess we’ll have to make an entrance that nobody has seen.” The soldier mumbled as he put on the visors- head to toe dressed in military gear. The back of his jacket having a vermilion bird upon in. On his sides were two blades securely sat on his hips. The air locks began to open as he held his grip on the railing in waiting for it to open fully- air hitting his face from the speed of the vehicle. Below was a war zone, this was war after all.

“3...2...”

The man shot a grin as he spoke, “the Phoenix is here.”

“1”

Walking to the edge of the airlocks he turned around to face the other soldiers, as he tipped backwards into a free fall. There’s a couple moments to which it’s safe to just descend into a free fall, he felt himself building up speed. As he felt his wings causing speed to build up he took his hands on the handles of the blades as before crashing he stretched out his wings as he stopped himself from crashing and instead using the built up speed to fly through soldiers- using the blades to swiftly slice through whatever got in the way, as he was reaching his end he shot himself up into the air in order to see his surroundings- he could already tell that everyone was well aware of the fact that the squad had been detected. “verteilen!” When the flight force was detected in battle- being in a group was foolish as it would make one a bigger target- right now there was one objective. The tanks.

As he was flying up he leant back causing him to volt before dashing forward towards a tank he had spotted. Grabbing a grenade from his west he made his way over a tank, it was the weakest part of the tank. The flight forces main job was to destroy tanks by using special items to which was made to destroy tanks- yet big enough to be a grenade. He threw it down as a big explosion was created- the fire or heat wasn’t the problem- the only risk was the debris. He made his way down to ground level as he instinctively turned around just in time to block an attack- grabbing the gun by the front he pulled it towards himself as well as the man as he shoved a knee into the man’s stomach- causing him to let go. As he did so Rei grabbed the gun turning it around to quickly shoot the man in the head before turning around to shoot another man. He felt the gun heat up as he tossed it away- this is why he didn’t do guns.

.

.

.

Rei wandered by the bodies scattered on the ground as he on occasion found a poor soul whom managed to survive 10 shots at least, the Phoenix could be cruel but it was better to put them out of their misery. Mostly he wandered before leaving the battle field as he had picked up on a voice. He wiped down the blood on his face as he came to a stop. It was a flight soldier from another squad, he had been shot in the wing. Being shot in the wing meant that it was over, they would only slow you down and removing them via surgery would be too risky. The soldier moaned and cried as he shakily reached out his arm towards the young man. “P...Phoenix...p-please—Save me” Rei looked at the poor souls emptily as he knelt down, putting a gun to the side of the soldiers head. “You fought well.” Before the soldier could respond the trigger was already pulled. There was a moment of silence as Rei ripped off the necklace around his neck before standing out, turning on his radio. “This is Drach Rei. We’re done here”


	11. Birthday

Mostly weekends were quite busy when it came to the city, getting caught without the jacket that foxes would wear would have severe consequences, though if you were seen with the jacket it'd be as if you got banned every where you go. The trick is to blend in, and don't get caught. Joki was making his way through the more crowded part of town, bumping into people was easy as it was a dance to accidentally slip a hand into their pocket and take whatever was on them. You didn't get caught as soon as you slunk into the crowd quickly before the rooster would yell. He looked through a pouch to which held not too bad of an amount of money. He shoved them into the pocket as he made his way towards the market district. He could feel the scent of newly baked bread as he slinked through the crowd. It was not a challenge to lean against the bakery and accidentally slip a bread into the pocket as he quickly made his way out the city- he could see in the bakery cakes being put on display, now that was something he’d only wish he could try someday. Only nobles had the money for those things or people riches than average. Joki? He was at the bottom of the chain by the poor and homeless, just getting by by stealing.

Thinking on it he remembered that cakes were often bought on birthday’s- did that mean that ye didn’t have a birthday? He had never gotten a cake after all so that should mean he doesn’t have one- everyone seemed to have one though- although he could only calculate to know somewhat how old he’d be by now. 18 or 19 he believed. It wasn’t important though. He made his way to the stone wall that Rei had showed him- he assumed he forgot about Joki as it had been two weeks since they last met, he did say he was going to be gone for a while... sitting down on the ground Joki began chewing on the warm bread to which urged him to let out a pleased sound in response to the taste. He felt a shadow fall over him as he looked up, guess the red hair didn’t forget him as he was currently leaning over him from behind giving a simple gesture with his hand. “Yo.”

Joki finished chewing as he responded with a slight frown, “You’re back.” “What are you eating?” Joki tilted his head slightly as he continued chewing the bread. “Nhewhly bhahed bhreahd.” Rei nodded absently as he seemed to zone out for a moment. “So what were you off doing?” Rei’s eyes shot back to the slender man- only to look away. He heard him alright. “Right- I was going to ask but, when’s your birthday?” Joki was about to coax about him avoiding the subject but had a feeling it wouldn’t lead anywhere. He finished the piece of bread as he shrugged. “Dunno, we don’t celebrate that stuff back home.” “Seriously? So you don’t have a birthday then?” Thinking on it he didn’t very much know specifically about his birthday- he had only been able to figure it was during summer. “I guess not-“ “Then left make you a birthday- right now!”

Joki froze, hah? Is he stupid? “What do you mean?” “Today will be your birthday from now on!” Rei chirped as he smiled, was he happier than usual? Joki could only be described as a question mark as Rei grabbed Joki’s wrist pulling him up, “What do you say? Let’s get you some cake hm?” Before Joki could have the time to respond he was already pulled away through the crowd- it was as if Rei knew the city even better than how Joki new it honestly from the way he knew each corner to turn, if was hard to see where they were going from the crowd that seemed endless. The only way he could tell that he was inside a store was the bell that rung as they entered- through all of it, Rei held a tight grip on the lithe wrist. As they got to the desk he could hear Rei speaking with a person- Joki was able to speak german yes but he didn’t have to full hang of it yet. “Wie viel kostet ein roter Samtkuchen?” “100 Schmuckstücke” “Ich akzeptiere es.” The chef nodded with a “coming up!” As he left the counter leaving Rei leaning against it as he put out a 10 San on the counter. Thinking on it- Rei must have a lot of money on him. Joki felt his gaze wandering the man with du curiosity, where does he keep it- “danke!” Joki was shot out of thought as Rei grabbed a bag as he turned to Joki with a smile. “Let’s go then.”

As they settled down on the rock wall Rei sighed as he pulled out a big red cake- adding sound effects himself with a “tada!” In the end of it. This actually made Joki’s mouth feel like it was drooling like a dog. “A cake?” Rei nodded putting it between the two as he sliced a piece out for Joki with a knife he had on him. He seemed to always be wearing weapons, why was he always seemingly ready for combat? Joki took the piece- eating it by hand he froze at the first bite. He couldn’t help himself when he leant back letting out a satisfied hum at the fulfilling taste. He didn’t care if he looked stupid right now- this was the best thing he had ever put into his mouth. It wasn’t long before the whole piece was in his mouth as he chewed eagerly. He was about to grab another piece when he stopped, seeing Rei holding out a small box. He was silent, looking up at Rei with a questioning look. “Why are you borrowing me a box?” Rei snorted as he spoke. “Well- you could say I’m permanently borrowing it to you this time, it’s a gift- had it made after our last meeting.” He places the box in the pale hands as Joki examined it with caution before opening it. It was a lithe silver like dagger with insect like themes to it- under the handle was two letters, “J.R” at the blade there was some kanji’s engraved into it. “Saigo no ..kotoba..?”(最後の言葉) Rei scratched his neck as he spoke, “yea it’s supposed to say silver heart—“ “yea, supposed to.” Rei’s hand as he only could let out a “eh?” “What do you mean-“ Joki Held up the light weight blade as he pointed to it. Saigo no kotoba means last words. Gin no kokoro is silver heart.”

It seemed to take a second for Rei to have it sink in before his expression turned into what you could say as not pleased- but also funny. “Hah?! What- but I- aghhh scheisseeeee.” Rei groaned dramatically leaning backwards while covering his face with his hands before throwing his upper body forward to the point he’s hunched over as a mumble of curse words could be heard. Then there was something odd heard. A snort- and a laugh? Rei peeked through a finger to find Joki- laughing? A genuine laugh. He sat more up right as Joki was hunched over in laughter while trying to speak. “Y-you—-YOU THOUGHT-“ he couldn’t get much out as he was stuck in a laughing fit. Rei was going to point out sarcastically that it wasn’t THAT funny- but- for some reason the moment felt so complete and peaceful at the same time. Like a reflection in the water that didn’t want to be disturbed. As Joki wiped his tears he was left giggling while speaking , “gods— you’re really stupid aren’t you. Ahhh...” he only noticed then how Rei was looking at him with genuine surprise. “What?” A small smile crept up the red haired man’s face as he hummed. “Nothing..just that I’ve never seen you laugh like that- or at all for that fact.” Joki shook his head- grinning still. “You’re probably the most stupid person in the world.” Rei let out a “hahh?” As he pretended to be insulted. “Hey don’t insult my ego after you’ve just laughed at me as if I’m he biggest idiot in the world.” “Well what if you are?” “Why you little brat.” They both were left snickering as they looked down. A moment of silence lingered as Joki spoke up. “Why a knife though?” Rei hummed, “you don’t seem like the gun type.” Joki’s smile faded a bit as he spoke- going back to his usual self, “I have one gun actually.” Pulling out from behind he showed Rei a silver revolver. Rei frowned a bit. “A revolver? How’d you get that?” ”well- I got it for m—I found it on the floor somewhere.” Rei nodded a bit, “it’s weird that you have one of those honestly- guns don’t seem to be your thing.” he bit his chin. “How do you say—happy birthday in Japanese?” Rei mumbled as Joki looked out and down at the blade. “otanjoubi omedetou” truly, it was a beautiful blade.


	12. Icarus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: the chapter contains explicit content .

The rain silently pattered against the window in the cool room of bunk beds. One soul was awake. Rei was reading a book- keeping himself occupied as he avoided sleeping to all costs. He would go to sleep when there was eight hours left to sleep of course since that's the necessary amount of sleep needed to be fully rested.

Though when he himself tried sleeping he would be plagued with nightmares causing him to grow restless. His nightmares always had a specific theme- him dying one day or another, the next worse than the one before. He didn't care if the book was boring- he just needed to occupy himself with something- which was why it was a great time to study or read up on things he missed, or even just reading it again. 

The bunk bed felt uncomfortable as the feathers rubbed against his skin and the bed, he propped himself into a sitting position. Gods he was tense. He heard a shuffling under his bed as he shot a glance to the edge of the bed. A head stuck up, dark almost black hair stuck up, a white streak in the hair as a dark skinned male looked up, eyes in a striking turquoise color. "hey! you're drach right?" He whispered half loudly, a grin on his freckled face that spread across his nose. Rei cocked an eyebrow with a hum as he slowly directed his focus back on the book-

"That's so cool..!" hm, this one seemed talkative. He let the book fall onto the sheets in a dramatic fashion as he looked back at the man. "You're lead for flight force right?" The man seemed young, maybe one month younger or so. Rei hummed in reply, trying to blink away the tiredness in his eyes as his sight was momentarily blurred. "Shouldn't you be in bed private?" Rei mumbled, he pulled his hand down his face- giving him some time to take another look at the man. It was subtle but one could tell he wasn't human, especially with the unnatural eyes. "shouldn't you?" He was surprised to find the man talking back to him- maybe a rookie.

Rei clicked his tongue, "insomnia." the man nodded with a 'ah' in response. "Irving by the way." Irving responded, Rei had not heard the last name before- definitely a rookie. "I can't sleep either-" Irving tapped at the bed as he shot a glance to Rei's back. "I always wondered how it works getting those." Rei raised an eyebrow, turning his eyes to find him having meant the wings, he looked towards the clock ticking. He had some time over. "I still have thirty minutes left before i need to be turning in, guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you."

-

Rei was called back to base as he had received a letter. Sitting down on his bed he cut open the envelope. He quickly took out the paper to read through it, promotion to Major. looking in the envelope he found another paper, he had sometime ago requested to be moved to the flight force, it seemed that his request was granted. At the bottom of the envelope was a small container with a substance in it. In the letter it said that he was going to be spending a week's time in a room as he was going under a procedure called "icarus", it involved him being injected with a drug which would gain him wings. "the following procedure will involve the following symptoms.." Rei mumbled while reading through it. When he finished he leant back in the bed biting his lip. "This is gonna be a hellish week.."

The appointed week came as Rei was showed into a room. The room contained a window, one bed and towels- a lot of towels. It looked like a prison. Not long after the doctor came in- a fiery like color to her hair as she injected the substance with a syringe. “If you need help just knock.” And with that they left. He looked emptily at the door, a whole week...

-

Day 1.

He mostly laid on the bed reading his books- early in there was a itch on his back, later on it began growing relentless. He was reading his book as he finally gave in sitting up hastily as he scratched his shoulder blades- he felt like a dog needing a scratch- but this was a persistent itch. When he did scratch it was as it it grew ten times worse than it was before, even if oneself was strong willed and had the greatest self discipline it would not matter. Rei looked towards the clock, it had only gone 4 hours. “If it’s gonna be like this for the whole week I’m not dying from the pain but from growing insane.” Rei mumbled as he sat against the wall trying to scratch it only slightly. His back felt increasingly sweaty as he felt incredibly uncomfortable.

It was a miracle that he fell asleep.

Day 2

Waking up it was as if he had gotten no rest at all. His eyelids felt heavy as well as his breathing. But what he noticed the most was the pain in his back- it was as it it was burning up- actually- every thing was burning up. He felt his clothes being stuck to his skin as he felt sweat run down his face- he was drenched. He sat up- his body aching as he pulled off his shirt- gods- even just doing that felt so draining. It was scary, he felt so helpless in the situation. “Just bare it...” he muttered to himself as he tried focusing on reading. When the time came to which he had realized he began reading the same line of text for the third time- as his eyes failed on focusing he closed he book while leaning forward. It was so warm in here.. he pulled off every bit of clothes he had- more of a tearing off fashion except the underwear. The clock felt slow as ever as he was now sprawled out on the bed- whatever he did whenever he put the blanket between the legs- hugging it- throwing away the pillow- nothing helped. All he managed to to was closing his eyes as the time slowly passed.

Day 3

It was during the night when he woke up- a pain shooting up through his spine- it had started yesterday little by little- but by now it was impossible to ignore it. As the hours went by Rei could only lay on the bed writhing- it was to the point he was crying. He was clenching the sheets to the point he was convinced that they were going to rip as he let out a scream of pain, he had never in his life experienced something as painful as this. A doctor had come in a while ago to put a bucket by his bed in case he threw up. It felt so pitiful. This was the stage to which the bones in the back would rip the skin open in his back in order for the wings to grow out apparently, as well as being the most common stage to which patients died in. He only had strength to hug onto a pillow and weep in pain as the whole body trembled. This was utterly hell.

Day 4

He was unable to sleep all night as the howling from him was the thing keeping people up. The bones had finished breaking through the skin, but this was the part to which the bones slowly began growing more hollow as the bones at the back was beginning to stop expanding. He couldn’t move without having immense pain shot up through his spine in waves like a shock wave to which he would throw up and faint. He couldn’t imagine the burn he’d feel when the muscles would begin forming on the bones. Truly he felt feeble, 24 hours of constant pain was beginning to get to him. Thankfully he would more often than not pass out from the pain allowing him some breaks from the pain.

Day 5

By now all bones were done growing as well as being hollowed out. He had thrown the blanked onto the floor to which he lied out stretched, he had rolled down onto the floor as it was more cold there than in the bed. Though the muscles was by now in a painful rate growing it wasn’t as bad as it was day 4. He still felt like he was dying but by now he managed to at least not throw up every hour as his body was out through the stress and spasm out. The book he had brought was in pieces, he had accidentally ripped it in frustration as his skin was glistening with sweat- he could breathe more calmly now- able to catch his breath as his eyelids felt like weighing a ton. Though one thing kept ticking him off- because his body did not know how to react to this it would on occasion send euphoria to his head in order to mute out the pain- which only would make him warmer and even more uncomfortable. Good try brain, but you failed once again.

Day 6

By now the wings was finished with the gritty bitty parts of the process- the muscles had skin now all though still sore and sensitive- he could move. He could sit up. They were basically done growing and infuriatingly he was informed that the process went- “more well than we could’ve expected.” It irritated him how the scientists had yet to find a better way to do this process. By now he had small fluffy wings like a baby chic would have. The doctors said by day 9 he would be ready to return.

Day 7

He was sitting on the bed- feathers fully grown out to the doctors and scientists surprise, apparently after the process the patient would need often more than another week to just recover, in some miraculous way- instead of having recovered the week after the torture- Rei had managed to recover in the same week as the process was happening. Managing to recover in only 7 days was a miracle. Rei found himself sitting on the bed again- he had pulled on his trousers as the heat wasn’t as unbearable as it had been before- he on my had a very light fever by now. The room in itself looked terrible, books torn to shreds as well as the bed and blankets- the walls had scratch marks on them- did he do that? He could see the men outside his door gawk at the sight of his wings, a vermilion color. But by now- Rei didn’t very much appreciate their beauty as the scientists were able to do. Strangely enough when they took him out finally from the horrible room he found his wings to feel strangely natural to him. He got the hang on using them rather quickly as if this wasn’t his first rodeo. When the doctors examined the wings he felt himself ruffle them instinctively. He didn’t really like being touched that way even if this was a health check to the least. The doctors said that they seemed in incredibly healthy thankfully.

Being at the present Rei could only muster one word to explain the experience. “ it was... like going to hell and back.”


	13. The Phoenix

Rei had been assigned to help another group of soldiers to go through a plan to which was going to be a surprise attack on a group from the iron army to which had been seen. 

They had been sent across to ocean to be on land to which was no man’s land. It was at a part of the map to which was at the outer part of the land which would be perfect for a surprise attack. 

As Rei got off the air craft with a few men he had chosen to bring he looked around. It was a small camp to which had been put up, the soldiers were running around impatiently for the flight force to arrive. 

Right now Rei was currently looking for the man in charge to which he would speak with. “No.” A voice came from behind him as Rei turned his head to be met with a sight he wouldn’t have expected in years. “Irving?” “Drach—“ Liam spoke with a questioning tone. it was Rei’s closest man to what a friend could be at this place- though actually- 

He was basically a friend at this point. “Ah sorry- Let’s talk a bit more open in my tent.” Liam straightened- It was odd seeing him so alert as well as serious for once. Rei followed him inside to which when the tent was closed Liam was standing by a table, sighing he spoke. “Drach...” “Irving.?” 

Liam stood still, as he turned around with a serious expression with no warning he threw himself at the red haired man catching him in a hug. “I’ve missed you you actual mad lad!!” Surprisingly- he was a very strong hugger.

Rei couldn’t help but to laugh, “glad to see you too you mad fish.” Liam let go with a laugh. “Wh- rude! How dare you insult an officer?” ”I believe I do dare actually.” The both laughed- it was nice to have a friend in times like these. “anyway, it’s good to have you here. We’re about to head towards the position to which we were told that the group would be.” Rei shot a short nod.

When they began marching Rei couldn’t help but feeling uneasy, making their way through a narrow passage was dangerous as they surly could get ambushed. He was walking beside liam, apparently they weren’t needed to be on the watch for another hour or so. As they came out of the narrow path Rei could tell Liam was saying things- but it only turned into muffled noises in the background as his ears started tending up focusing on something else- something sounding like-  
“Get down!!” Realizing the sound Rei’s eyes shot up as he grabbed Liam in the back of the neck- pulling him down as a explosion was fired against the rocks above them that they had passed under sometime ago-

quickly looking around he tried locating the attackers- this was a trap. “Get the men to the beach, now! This was all a set up!” Liam got up nodding as he yelled something in Spanish as the group quickly made their way across the land, keeping themselves low. By now they were all just target practice which was too easy to be shot- grabbing Liam and another soldier Rei used his wings to get further away faster- the other winged soldiers doing the same. It was known that it was risky to use the wings in a open space like this- but it was either that or being shot with bullets all over.

As they made it to the beach Rei let the soldiers down- realizing they were cornered by now the iron soldiers began approaching as everyone took cover in order to avoid the gun fire. Rei found himself hiding beside Liam as he was having a hard time getting a good look at the attackers. “We’re surrounded- should we fight back with fire?” Liam questioned- trying to keep himself calm as Rei looked around before stopping- he looked back, since it was summer time the grass looked dryer than sand- he looked up seeing as there was an approaching solar eclipse. He frowned. “Liam- you can’t stare up towards the sun can you?” Liam pulled his head back as a bullet suddenly grazed his arm- causing for him to grab it. “WhaT-?” “Just say yes or no!” Liam looked at the other wounded soldiers from the fire- looking back at Rei he shook his head. Rei felt himself looking up again. There’s going to be only a minute to which the solar eclipse lasts. “Liam! Hand me your gun!” Liam turned his head about to question. “What are you planning- you can’t go out there on your own!!” “Give me the weapon Irving!” Liam shook his head. “I can’t let you-“ “Give me the weapon that’s an order from your superior!” Liam fell silent- Rei’s stare digging into him as he apprehensively handed it over. Quickly grabbing it Rei emptied the dust chamber as he pulled out another container with red dust. ”what the hell are you doing?!” “Get everyone to the water as fast as you can.” Rei spoke as he loaded the weapon. “But-“ “that’s an order!”

Liam looked away as he yelled, “EVERYONE GET TO THE WATER NOW!!” As he yelled so Rei launched himself into the air- if he had calculated correctly he had three seconds to get in position right over the eclipse. The soldiers aimed for him- taking off all focus on the fleeing soldiers. Getting shot in the air would not only cause you to loose the wings- but also break all bones on impact. As he got in position over the sun he prepared the gun as he felt his body heat up all the more- having built up this much heat would basically make the fire dust explode by this point. He took aim at the middle of the dry grass- he mumbled. “Drop dead.” He felt his eyes heat up in a golden color instead of his silver as he pulled the trigger.

The power of the shot sent multiple explosions before it reached the ground, a massive flame engulfed the field as the fire spread like wildfire, burning everything in it’s bath. The ground turned immediately into ash as a wave of death came over the land- even reaching the shore as the terrible fire let nothing escape.

As Liam was in the water the heat of the flames was at the brink of burning the soldiers- he lifted his head in an attempt to find Rei- his eyes widened when he say the man, as if their wings were fire itself he was in the middle of the flames. As if having been reborn like a Phoenix. Taking out a whole division in one shot. He felt his heart beat faster as he knew by that. That someone whom he’d call a leader, was someone like that kind of Phoenix.


	14. Last one to witness

The clouds passed over the sun as the air had begun growing cold once again. In a tree sat a pale figure, holding the small blade in his hands he trailed with his finger the engravings into the weapon. It had been a while now since Rei was here, he didn’t miss him of course. Why would he? There had passed some time since the last meeting, Joki had practiced a lot when it came to pickpocketing. By now he could break into houses to just steal some food or whatever he needed. Rei he promised he wouldn’t be gone for as long this time, promised. He thinks back to when they found a ‘car’.

It had been a sunny day when Rei dragged Joki along as usual, stopping by a rusty odd vehicle. “What’s that.” Joki asked as Rei smiled happily. “It’s something from the old era! You know before the Great War and all!” The great era? It was said that before this time of age there had been a world before to which only held humans- it was said that they even had the ability to fly to the moon even- but it almost sounded too absurd to be true. It was said that some Great War broke out to which radiation killed everyone and mutated the people today to the different races.

At least that’s the theory. Rei entered the vehicle which had a resemblance to the car’s they had today- it was true that a lot of old research from the old era had been found and used as a base for most inventions- though most old era blueprints was found in tundra as they had gotten the hands on the most of them rather quickly. “You don’t think it seriously works do you?” Joki snorted as he shot a sarcastic grin as he watched Rei lean down. Was he actually trying to get it to work? “Right?” “Just give me a sec- I read somewhere how to- aha!”

With a rumble there was the faint sound of the engine starting- to Joki’s disbelief. “Wh-“ “got it!” Rei looked up in triumph as he opened the door for Joki to get in. He got in with uncertainty as he closed the door. Rei held onto the wheel, “now- to just find out how to-“ he stomped onto a paddle as suddenly the vehicle went flying- moving a lot faster than one would expect. “HOLY SHI-“ 

BANG

Joki didn’t get his words out before the both of them were thrown forwards and then back. Having eyes as large as plates they slowly realized that they had crashed into a tree. They watched as the smoke slowly rose from the engine, that thing was busted. A silence lingered before Rei broke the silence. “Well- I guess- we could say it didn’t have the ‘wheel’ to live” there was a pause before a sudden snort was heard- following with chuckling as Joki leant forward. “That was terrible joke-“ Rei was himself leaning against the wheel chuckling. “I know-“ The two was left chuckling in the car as suddenly the air bag got released hitting a Rei in the face causing Joki to go into a straight up a laughing fit. There Wasn’t much that got done that day.

Back to the present Joki was flicking a coin- feeling bored as normally getting money and food would keep him busy in normal case- but now it was fast and easy getting those things done. He felt annoyed, catching the coin in his hand before shoving it into his pocket. Looking at his feet he didn’t want to admit it, but he needed to get some new shoes. He had heard some rumors about someone from Atlas coming here to study. Maybe they would have some nice shoes.

-

Returning from the expedition rumors spread quickly, he found himself being stared at as he got into the showers to freshen up as the others left the showers. There was a odd feeling creeping feeling that was sent through his spine. His eyes had become a hazel color once again. He was respected now, then why did he want to throw up. To everyone he was a hero, a symbol for justice. But- the others didn’t see the aftermath of the battlefield.

-

When the rain started coming to extinguish the fire Rei was left standing in the ground. The ground was burned to ash, smoke rising from the trees and where the shot had landed had the ground rounded out from it as if a beam of pure energy had shot through both dirt and stones. The trees was a jet black color as all one could see was death, the bones from the soldiers were in pieces as Rei stumbled, when he breathed it felt like his air was going to ignite like a dragons- his body felt as if the sun itself. The no man’s land was now what only one could call a desolate dead land to which nothing would grow in. 

In the present he found himself getting awards- but what made him sick to the stomach was the release he felt when it happened- as if the doctors and scientist weren’t already on his back they sure were now. Not figuring out how he managed to survive the flames and heat. He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to collect himself as he sat in his room. If he’s that hero, why is the the only one having memorized every single soldiers face as they got shot and murdered. He could’ve helped. He wasn’t a hero, he was just some lucky bastard. There was a knock at the door causing his feathers to ruffle. He turned his head slightly as he opened the door. He was surprised when he was met with the sight of a tall silver haired woman. “Could I have a word with you major Drach?”


	15. Angry too

“Drach!” Rei pokes his head out of his room- he had moved in temporarily with a doctor in the city as there was some time off from the field. Both had a separate room to live temporarily in. An apartment in other words. “Yes-“ “Someone broke into my room for gods sake! The damned thief stole my boots!”

Rei shot an awkward smile as he couldn’t help but finding the sight amusing of the angry elf being worked up over her stolen boots- he wouldn’t think he’d ever see the calm and collected high elf race ever curse. “Maybe you just lost them?” Winter huffed as if she had just been insulted. “Don’t insult me! I never lose things!” She stormed back into her room as she slammed the door close leaving Rei chuckling as he leant against the doorway.

Winter was apparently a doctor from Thundra Atlas, she was meant to observe his habits and such since everyone basically knew the name “The Phoenix” as apparently he had been some sort of break through of some sort in the lab. But the biggest reason he came here was to meet someone once again. He was well aware of the possibility that the man probably had moved on from him from the time they had been apart and all. It was his fault for being so flimsy with the relationship as of whole and not taking it serious enough.

Of course he did put an effort in to meet up and all- it was just that- well- he dragged a hand through his hair. His feelings felt like a tangled mess at the moment- be wasn’t sure if what he felt was true or not. There had been this weird persistent thing going on with his body- getting him riled up in moments of the month and- other things. He leaned his head back as he lightly bumped his head against the wood. Maybe finding the boot thief could help relieve some stress.

It had been a month or two since the ‘dead man land incident’ to which he had been once again been sent out, this time just out to the battlefield. It was at one point to which he dove, gripping his blades tightly as he slashed through soldiers. He felt his body suddenly stiffen, huh? He felt all the sound disappear as a image flashed through his head. A pale figure with a tiger pelt on his shoulder- blue eyes with a Snow White general uniform. As the image disappeared from his head he could see beside him the man. His eyes were wide at the sight of Rei- everything felt like going in slow motion. Why- did that man feel familiar—like a white tiger- in a flash images flashed through his head as he quickly shot himself away from the man. He felt sweat fall down his face- that face- it was as if the man had seen the devil himself. “Drach! What are you doing?! You’re too close to the Iron army leader! Avoid Baihu at all cost!”

It was as if he was cut off from reality- the name- why did it feel familiar-

Back to the present Rei was sitting on his bed, window open as the night air filled the room as he held a cigarette to his mouth. He blew out smoke as he sighed. Smoking was bad but this was the best way of handling the occasionally too hot air that filled his lungs. He only needed to do it on occasion as he did not enjoy being unhealthy in the slightest. But this was a temporary solution. He had decided to try catching the thief off guard, concluding that he’d be back if he knew a rich doctor was in town. He blew out some smoke as- “the hell-“ he shot up- he hadn’t heard a single footstep- in the window sat a familiar figure, pale skin and stunning magenta eyes staring back at him. Seeming as shocked as he was. “Rei?”

-

Being a bit stunned Joki looked at the man in front of him, why was he here? Had he been here this whole time? Had he been avoiding him? Why didn’t he like him anymore? Thoughts flooded his mind as confusion turned into feelings of betrayal, anger, happiness- every emotion one could feel in the book when it came to a situation like this. Why hadn’t he gone looking for him? Was he really that much of a bother. The confusion in his face turned into a frown of annoyance. He was about to turn away when Rei quickly threw himself forward in order to grab his wrist, “wait-“ “what the hell are you doing here?” Joki coaxed as he pulled in his arm, he didn’t want to be here, he was just going to get his stupid hopes up once again. “I’m finally on a break- a lot was going on and-“ “you said you’d be back-“ “I know I know-“ Rei reassured as he held on for his dear life- if he let him go now he wasn’t going to see him ever again probably. “Let go me-“ Joki pulled out of his grasp as Rei instinctively grabbed his arm once again- throwing the slender man onto the bed and he pinned him down. “Don’t go-“ “the hell! Get off!” “Please Joki-“ “I said!-“ “please Hayan!”

The room fell silent, Joki could only stare into the face to which he had missed. The hazel eyes looking down back at him looked exhausted but also riled up- he just seemed- sorry. Gently, Rei placed his forehead against the chest as he mumbled in a soft voice. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep the promise- I tried.. every time I was going to take a train back here there was something else I needed to go to.” Joki felt the hands around his wrists loosen a little, he hadn’t really seen this soft vulnerability of the strong man before. “Please- I don’t want to have messed up another relationship” Joki frowned as Rei pulled his head up again as it hovered above his own. “I want to try to fix the time I missed out on with you, can you let me?” Joki was silent, why was he so desperate to make it right? Wasn’t he the one not wanting anything to do with him? Rei was surprised when Joki spoke. “You’re not just gonna toss me to the side when you get bored of me? You’re serious about wanting to spend time with me?” It was a low mumble, but it was a sincere question as Rei nodded slowly. Joki’s eyes lingered on the man’s face, trying to see if he was insincere or not. He glanced away. “You’re an idiot you know that?” Rei nodded with a hum, the air was tense as Joki looked around the room. “Fine, Let’s try again.” At the reply Rei’s head fell onto the stomach of the boy, maybe out of relief. But one thing was certain. He was too honest for his own good. The hands released the wrists making their way to lay above the paler hands underneath.

“Are you angry with me?” Rei mumbled as Joki groaned in thought, “yes” “good.” It surprised Joki, did Rei want happy to be angry with him? He laid his head back as he mumbled. “Friends don’t do this.” Rei hummed “Do you consider me as a friend?” Joki had to think on a response as he laid still in the bed. “Mm...something else.” Rei found himself being close to falling asleep as he pulled himself off Joki, laying on his back flatly next to him. Joki was silent as he began leaning up to which he felt a hand tug at his hand gently. “Wait.” “What.” Rei couldn’t bare looking him in the eyes as he let out a soft murmur. “You can sleep here, since you don’t really have a place to stay at.” Joki stayed silent at the request, weighing the options as at the time he had a response he could already tell that the winged man was asleep.


	16. The midnight ball

The current week had been rather odd. It had only been a day or two after the two men had once again reunited, and in truth it was rather stale at first. Joki didn’t share much details about what he had been up to for the last months they had been apart, and it was obvious that his interest lies in Rei’s retelling of what had gone on for their time apart from his side.

Rei could tell that Joki didn’t get much insight in the current happenings in the world outside of the city as he would lean in to listen attentively at the stories Rei would share. Yet he was uncertain that the other really had figured out what his line of work meant or being a soldier. It might’ve been unfair to avoid certain parts of his stories he told Joki, but he didn’t think Joki would mind. He might at most feel worried but he had convinced himself deep inside that Joki would never experience what Rei felt for him.

He wouldn’t know how much it hurt Rei deeply when seeing the hurt in Joki’s eyes that night he returned, or how it wrenched his stomach watching him almost leave.

They had grown accustomed to meeting outside and just wandering the streets talking. Even though these moments was held dear to Rei he had come to notice something different. He found himself swelling up with joy whenever Joki smiled, or seeking the others attention more often. Rei had a hunch of what it could be but pushed it down. He might confront it one day, but that wasn’t today. 

They had been just wandering the streets normally as Rei had been careless about what slipped his mind as the subject of the midnight ball came forth. It was a sunny day and he had started complaining lightly about things on his schedule that were to be done. “And soon I’ll have the damn midnight ball on my plate as well.” Rei admitted as he hadn’t very much paid attention to what slipped past his lips. It was the casual randomness of their conversation that more often than not arose in their walks, only this time it seemed to have caught Joki’s interest as he stopped just idly listening.

“Midnight Ball?” Rei cocked his head softly as a soft hum slipped out.  _ Did he accidentally mention that? _

“Yea, know what it is?” Not to his surprise Joki shook his head slightly. “Not really.” Rei was going to add some sort of remark when an idea got inside his head. Actually..why shouldn’t Joki join him to it? It might be the best way to make it clear to Joki about his intentions. Even if Joki was smart, he was dense. Dense as a rock at certain things. The idea excited Rei so much that he began blurting out words to catch up with his eagerness.

“Oh, then let me tell yo-“

A loud crash, then gasps. Rei found himself on the ground in front of a car, that’s what they’re called right? Wait- was he hit by a car? Rei had rolled over the hud of the car as a silence lingered before a delayed groan escaped him.

Joki’s eyes shot up as he covered his mouth, partially because he was shocked but mostly because he was trying to keep himself from laughing. “Rei?”

There was no reply, only a hand was seen on the other side giving a thumbs up. Rei spoke in a bit of a dry voice “ ‘m okay..”

Then it came, the snort that escaped Joki, wow he was really the worst wasn’t he. He maneuvered over to the larger man on the ground, seemingly the commotion had nonetheless caused some attention as a woman exited the vehicle. “Oh my gods! Are you alright- wait- you seem familiar-“. Joki’s smile quickly fell as a frown grew on his face when another woman approached. From what he could tell she had been a little further ahead of them, having almost been hit herself. Seeing Rei take the hit she probably mistook him for having tried to save her.

This should be funny, so why was he standing there frowning?

“Oh my gods! Are you really the Phoenix? I’m forever indebted to you for saving me! How could I ever make it up to you?”

_ He didn’t save you, he just stood in the way you cackling rooster. _

Rei, still a little dazed only let out a slow “hah?” As he was pulled up on feet far too quickly, his eyes widening and narrowing as if trying to get a hold of himself. He slurred a little “that’s not—“ the vehicle woman chirped in, “maybe I can make it up to you somewhere more- private?” “I can pay you dinner!”

Rei held his head dazed as he attempted at speaking, “I uh- really am humbled but I can’t-“ “I insist! I mean you must have many women swarming around you often!” Rei shook his head. “Mn n-no I’m sorry but you two are really lovely but..not my type-“ he blinked rapidly, it was still rather bright and dizzying. It was as if a switch had been flicked for their smiles quickly fell into frowns, while Joki’s remained the same.

Rei continued. “I’m just not into ladies like-“ a slap to the face is what cut him shirt as one yelled. “I’m sorry are you insulting us? Women like us? What’s that supposed to mean?” A hand found its way to rub his cheek as he exclaimed. “What the hell lady! I’m sorry but I’m just saying even if I wanted you two aren’t in my league-“ another slap was heard as one got into their car and the other stormed off. Leaving the man alone again.

Joki could only stand by as he clapped his hands slowly with glee, taking in the scene. “I don’t understand ladies- Is it so hard taking a no?” Rei muttered as he began getting up, earning a chuckle from Joki. “Well you kind of  _ Did _ insult them-“ 

Rei groaned out a sharp reply. “How was I supposed to say that they’re not my type- I can’t make it more clear!” Joki couldn’t help himself as he grinned, though a bitter taste still lingered a bit on his tongue. “I thought you were good at this?” He hummed as Rei let out a short snort. “I don’t understand women, never did and never will..” he mumbled as he rubbed his cheek, It wasn’t until later that week that the subject surfaced once again.

— • —

Rei made a note that whenever he tried joking about that incident later on Joki would always grow a bit stiff, laughing uncomfortably before changing the topic with haste. It occupied Rei for some time before shrugging it off, it was probably nothing.

The sun shone brightly as a breeze went through the wheat field, the two sitting on the wreck of a past car. Joki’s head in Rei’s lap was a position they had grown accustomed to as time had passed. The trunk of the tree at Rei’s back made it the most comfortable place to sit at. There was a comfortable silence between the two, Rei moved his hand to brush some strands of hair out of the other’s face who let out a pleased sigh. 

_ Gods, it was tempting just giving in to his desires _ .

“Hey Rei?” A hum left Rei’s lips as he was still taking in the small features on the others face. He wondered if anyone else took notice to the white eyelashes or other features he just adored. “I was thinking… remember when you mentioned something about a ball?” Rei’s hands stilled as a flash of a frown came on his face before his expression relaxed. “Ah, right I never told you about what it was did I?” Joki looked up expectantly as Rei sighed softly. “Well.. it’s this event made for very important people who are participating in the w— work I do.” He trailed off, eyes looking almost distant as his if deep in thought.

“I..myself have been invited to it..surprisingly-“ “If it’s a big event is it though? I mean you being the symbol of the land or whatever it is” that was about all Joki knew, he was some important guy to the country or whatever it was. But that was about it. It caused Rei to let out one of those rare chuckles that could make any man or woman swoon as he looked out to the distance.

Joki watched with half lidded eyes the man above him, in truth if he was as known as he had told Joki, then it wasn’t surprising that the woman liked him. And yet it left him feeling sour and bitter. Rei was attractive, golden sun kissed skin and broad shoulders and chest. Piercing gold eyes that demanded respect, it was obvious. It sometimes egged his mind if friends could find eachother attractive. 

Joki watched Rei work his jaw as he spoke. “You often being people with you, like a date.” There it was again, that sinking feeling in Joki’s stomach. Ah, right. The thing a  _ woman _ and a man does. A  _ woman _ and a man. A  _ woman _ . Though he did not show any hint of the bitter taste growing in his mouth he hummed. “Who are you bringing?” The words came out automatically, though a fake sincerity coated the words. “Actually..”

The soft hum escaped Rei as he leant down close to face Joki.

He whispered in what felt like honey if it was a sound “I was hoping you would come with me there.” 

Joki’s eyes widened in surprise as he sat up almost too fast. Of all the answers he anticipated that wasn’t one of them. “Me? Didn’t you say it would be like a date?” He swallowed, both saliva and any now dying hope. “You do those with someone you might consider something more don’t you?” It was only a mumble when he finished as he looked head straight at read. Trying to decipher his unreadable expression as he leant forward. “I thought you and I were something more.”

Joki’s mouth opened only to shut. “You find me special?” It was driving Joki crazy being unable to read Rei’s face, he was leaving him no indication of what he might be thinking. “So? Can I count on seeing you there then?” There was hesitation to be seen on Joki’s face as he worked his jaw only a little before opening his mouth to respond.

— • —

The sky was like a black canvas with splatter of white color on it, Joki found himself debating whenever to go or not. He knew what he had told Rei, but now that he was here he was uncertain if it had been the correct decision. That’s why now when he was outside the big building, decorated in flowers from top to bottom. He would make a step only to retrace it back. Chewing on his inner cheek he brought up every foul word he knew as he forced his feet forward at a painfully slow rate. The outfit he had chosen was reminiscent of what his birth country would wear (Japan), something that was something like a dress almost. When he entered through the doors it was as if a shockwave had hit him with music chatter surrounding him suddenly.

Joki’s eyes moved around as he felt his heart in a steady pace starting to race, his memory grew a haze as he remembered little to none of what was going on. He might’ve been moving around? Trying to find some corner to hide in, anything, there were too many people here- and the voices were echoing in his head-why was he here? His breath was quickening and-

“Hey-“

A hand on his shoulder pulled him back to reality as he gasped shallowly. Whipping around he was met with a sight that almost calmed him immediately. Ah- It was just Rei. His eyes had a rare softness to them as he spoke. “Ah- didn’t want to startle you-You looked a bit lost- a lot of people?” His voice only brought comfort as Joki nodded silently, how had he gotten so lost in the crowd? He removed feeling his throat tightening and-

“Hey, I’m glad you came” a soft smile found it’s way on Rei’s face as he brought a hand up to Joki’s cheek, the worry in his eyes slowly subsiding as Rei let go of him. Holding out a hand for Joki to take while keeping one at his back he smiled, leaving Joki puzzled. With hesitance Joki moved his hand to hover above Rei’s as if asking for permission, only for Rei to gently grab it whilst pulling him in close. He was wearing a red suit which admittedly suited him. 

He had to make a pun about it later-

“You know how to dance?” Rei’s voice once again pulled him back to reality as he looked back to Rei. His head turned and searched as he found other couples moving upon the dance floor at the cue of the music suddenly replacing the past chaotic chatter that had Rosen before. He met Rei with a frown, a no in other words.

Joki was simply met with a warm smile as the other whispered, “just follow my lead.” A hand moved to his narrow waist as the two began to slowly move in what he assumed was a dance. Though it wasn’t as graceful like the other couples as Joki was for the most of it trying to keep up, he did slowly get some sort of hang at it as the two spun to the music. 

His eyes were stuck to the feet as his head shot up at a comment Rei made: “you look handsome tonight” Joki sputtered a little as he let out a small laugh. “I can still leave you know.” “You wouldn’t do that, and no that’s not me challenging you.” Rei smirked a bit as he dipped the other, who instead of laughing instead held on to him. “No clue what you mean by that”

As the two rose he could hear Rei speak.”I need you to know that I like you,” as they drew in close they stopped just inches keeping each other apart.  _ Tooclose-  _ “more than you know I do.” He could almost make out a darkened blush on Rei’s cheeks if he looked close, he himself felt some heat creep up his face. He was about to speak only to be blown out by the applause that followed as the music toned out.

Not soon after he could hear the music starting up again as Rei leaned in close to speak. “Come, let’s go somewhere else.”

— • —

As they moved to the side they maneuvered throughout the crowd and found themselves by a table filled to the brim with food and drinks. Rei stood to lean against the table with a soft huff as he grabbed a drink from a plate which he downed in one go. 

He caught Joki’s gaze as he took a glass to hold out for Joki who only met him with sceptical eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m not trying to poison you” he reassured the other with some sarcasm in his voice which had Joki letting out a light snort as well as a roll of the eyes before grabbing the drink. 

“Oh don’t worry, You wouldn’t be able to.” He moved the glass to his mouth as Rei almost a second too late came to question. “You’re not lightweight are you?” A frown found it’s way up Joki’s face as he moved the glass from his mouth as he swallowed the little liquid he had gotten into his mouth as he choked out from the taste “light what?-“ he was stopped from finishing his question as a tall slender woman approached the two, wearing an elegant dress that clung to her shape in all the right ways, silver hair put up in a complex style. Eyes blue eyes scanned the man as she grabbed a glass from the tray.

“Lovely to see you here Drach.” She spoke, words picked out as if having been rehearsed. “I did not realize you were one for parties.”

“Neither did I realize you were one to drink.” Rei commented back as Joki noted his face having gone to a more stoic expression of professionalism. Not finding any place in the conversation Joki decided to listen in absently as he put his drink to his nose, an odd smell met him as he took a sip, his face contorting into a scowl as the alcohol felt unnatural to him. The woman forced out a smile as she let out a careful laugh. “Ah well it has become a more common theme for my evenings as of recent, don’t mind me drowning my worries in alcohol.” She spoke smoothly contradictory to her words as she quickly downed a glass with haste. “Getting drunk enough to forget this night  _ is _ my current goal as of now.”

Even if Joki didn’t know this woman, something about her didn't really scream ‘alcoholic’, not that he cared much in difference to Rei. Rei’s stoic expression had turned into a subtle scowl as he opened his mouth, “winte-“ “Schnee!” The voice exclaimed as the assumed Schnee almost seemed to choke on her drink, her calm demeanor growing stiff and tense in mere seconds. With a slow frown she stood up straight, regaining her composure as she turned around facing the fiery short haired woman, slender and tall as her sharp features made her have an unnerving aura to her. 

“ _ Teine _ .” The elf’s voice was cold and sharp as she spoke, giving no room for guessing her want to leave the conversation as quickly as it had started. The tall woman cooed, a glass in hand“I was hoping to find you here.” In difference to Schnee, Teine was wearing tight white trousers, on top she had a black shirt as well as an undone striking violet bow tie hanging loosely around her neck. Schnee narrowed her eyes, “yes, well sadly I did not.”

The red haired woman laughed off the insult as her voice became more serious. “I wish to speak with you about something Schnee.” “Teine, i would rather not.” At this point Joki felt himself growing distant from the tense conversation as he only did notice their absence as Schnee moved to leave with the woman. 

Odd, she didn’t seem too keen on following her in the first place.

Turning his attention towards Rei he only found a cold scowl slowly fading as he sighed before turning towards Joki. “Let’s go outside, I want to tell you something.”

— • —

As the music became a distant muffled noise, Joki found himself on the balcony which the last soft summer air lingered as the sky held a thousand stars in hand. He trailed his hand along the railing as he turned his attention once again to Rei, finding him once again holding out a hand towards the other like he had done before.

Now he was really confused. “I thought we danced before?”

“True” Rei spoke. “But I wanted to continue where we are alone.” Joki didn’t keep back the tugging of his lip as he moved his hand to be placed into the hand with more confidence now when he knew what to do. He didn’t resist when the larger man pulled him in close once again as the two moved with comfortable silence. “You know…” Rei’s voice began softly, seemingly picking out his words with great care.

“I wasn’t lying when I said..that I like you.” Joki hummed, getting a bit familiar with the words now but didn’t leave much weight on them. “You said that.” “No you’re- what I’m saying is..” he trailed off as their feet came to a slow stop, leaving Joki looking puzzled as he glanced toward the other’s face. A dark blush was stretched across his face as he spoke, his thumb idly stroking over Joki’s hands as he spoke, seemingly having prepared them beforehand. 

“Joki.. I don’t think I can do this anymore..I- I don’t think I can say that I like you, Joki, not the way you like me.” There was a small frown forming on Joki’s face as a small clump was forming in his stomach. Was he anxious? He didn’t pull away when the man in front of him moved his hands to cradle the back of Joki’s head. “I don’t want to, pretend that I like you.” There was a hesitance, Joki’s eyes widened as the other seemingly was moving closer to his face. He stopped just inches a part, hesitating before closing the gap between the two. It felt foreign, but it didn’t feel wrong either. It felt warm and comforting and was over yet too soon as Rei pulled away to look him in the eyes. “Because I love you.”

Joki opened his mouth only to close it again, words seemingly not coming to him. His body felt warm, but he felt pained not being able to say the same from not knowing the meaning of the words. He wanted this to happen oh gods he did, but he didn’t know what to do. So when the man began moving in again, he did not pull away, and instead reciprocated the gesture as he was once again pulled in in an embrace as this time he carefully wrapped his arms around Rei’s neck.

The music became a distant melody as somewhere in the building, a distraught soul could be sensed in the back of one's head.


	17. A drink too many

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tw: light smut but doesn’t lead to anything. Rei POV

It felt as if the time passed in a haze during the night, Rei found his date having made his way to the drinks one too many times after his confession.  _ Right, that was one thing that happened.  _ He had allowed Joki to slip from his sight at least on one occasion which was when he had decided to search for Dr. Schnee, her worrying mindset having been off putting. It didn’t calm his anxiety that she had left with a woman he thought to recognize, but with no good memories of for that matter.

He cursed himself as he felt himself being stretched thin, being forced to give up on the search as he had found Joki once again. He had been confident that Joki probably had drunk alcohol prior to this, but to his dread he had found out that it was not the case.

Rei had returned to find Joki sitting on a railing to the staircase, glass in hand with a lazy smile across his face. He hadn’t thought anything of it as he had announced to Joki that they were leaving. The man cocked his head sideways letting out a sigh. “Awh really?” There was a slight purr to his voice, Rei simply chuckled softly trying to ignore the slightly amorous tone. “Yeah, sorry but it’s really late and we should head back..” he explained as he watched the others eyes being fixated on him as he moved down the railing. 

“ ‘An what If I wann stay?” The lean man coaxed with a lazy smirk. Rei’s eyebrows pulled together into a frown, his smile still on his face. He had to admit that he seemed a bit more daring with every word he spoke. Rei watched as Joki moved the glass in his head towards his lips as Rei smoothly went in to slide the glass into his own hands in the same motion of hugging Joki from behind, “I have a surprise for you at home if you’re good.”

Okay that came out a bit wrong.

Rei had hoped Joki would go back to being dense, but the flushed face as he fell silent told something else. His surprised expression cracked as he giggled with mouth shut, a smile spreading once again. “Really?” For whatever it was worth it seemed that Joki’s attention had now at least left the drink and now was on Rei.

Admittedly Rei had also had a glass or two to drink, so any faint temptation was a lot stronger than normally. He wasn’t drunk, Joki was another case. He didn’t want to just conclude right here and now his theory, but he had his suspicions. “Yea, think I can take you home?” He placed away the glass as he spoke, seemingly keeping Joki’s interest by long shots.

“Mmmmmmm… aight’! Del’-“ Joki’s eyebrows furrowed momentarily as he felt his throat. “..I mean deal.” Joki shook his head a bit as he stumbled, then held his head in his hands for a moment. 

“You alright?” Rei asked.

“Just got down too quickly,” Joki said quietly as he shook his head, then continued on his jagged path.

  
  


When they got outside Rei kept Joki close in fear that he would stumble into something, he only allowed Joki to walk for about half a minute before he wanted to intervene. “You certain you can walk?” He received a dismissive wave of the hand as the man chuckled. “ ‘m fine, you worried or somethin’?”

There was a crackle from the sky as water soon followed by falling in the form of rain. At this the man in front of Rei stretched out his arms in glee as a wide smile was on his face. Rei had to stop for a moment.

Gods he was pretty.

Then he was reminded again what state the other was in. Ah. Right. he’s  _ probably  _ completely wasted. Joki seemed to have caught on that Rei had stopped to which he turned his heel to make his way over to Rei

Rei quickly reached out to hold his shoulders when the others were about to topple over. “Yep, we need to get you in bed.” 

“With you?” Rei almost choked on his saliva as he quickly made his way under a roof as he had found their building, that was sudden. Was he serious? He glanced down to find the other with a wide grin. 

He wasn’t serious. 

Just drunk.

“Ah, um not tonight. You’re drunk” Rei only mumbled as he struggled getting Joki in through the door and the stairs. There was a small murmur that came from Joki that was inaudible, he didn’t pay it much mind.

Maybe that was the second mistake he made that night.

Opening the door to the room he stepped inside with a sigh, now Joki wouldn’t be able to mess anything up. 

_ Why did he always have to jinx things. _

He had set Joki down upon the soft bed in the room, only earning a weak groan of protest. Standing up Rei sighed as he closed the door behind him, he hesitated for a moment before locking the door. He was not feeling like finding Joki gone and the door open in the morning.

“ ‘M Rei. ‘Ey Rei.”

Joki pouted at the lack of attention he was gaining as he watched the larger man locking the door.

Rei’s body froze up the moment there was a sudden loud moan. He quickly whipped his head around to find the man just fine on the bed, a grin on his face. Oh that little- “you’ face is red.”

Rei took a deep breath as he pondered what to do, he eyed the other’s form, noticing how a leg was fully exposed. Slender and smooth, his eyes moved up from the ankles, up to the thigh..

“Like what you see?” It came out like a purr, and It did not fail to affect the other as he tensed just slightly. Rei watched the man lean forward to a sitting position. “Cause’ I sure do.”

Rei kept his stoic expression in place, having concluded that giving Joki a reaction would be unwise. “You’re drunk.” It was more of a statement than a question. 

Rei was common with seeing soldiers wobbling away after having one too many, but this was a bit different.

He noted that the dress like attire Joki was wearing was drenched and needed to be removed, he leant forward on the bed as he spoke. “I need to get you out of that or you’re going to catch a cold.” He tried putting on his most firm voice as his hands began trailing the body in front of him.

He would be a liar to say that the temptation wasn’t there.

Joki leaned into the touch as a soft sigh escaped his lips. “Your’ warm..” he found his hands wandering. “I want you to touch me.”

Rei’s face felt warm.

No, he didn’t know what he was doing.

He was drunk.

“You don’t know what you’re asking” Rei breathed.

It came suddenly when Joki’s slender fingers gripped the fabric of his suit, rolling the two over suddenly as he was pinning the other down.

“Joki-“

“I wan’ to put my mouth here,” Joki whispered, honey dripping from each word.

Rei’s eyes widened, and his pulse quickened when Joki dragged his fingers to his lips, to his jaw, down his throat, across his collarbone, each time telling him that he wanted his mouth there.

“You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.” Though he wished that the other wasn’t.

He jolted when fingers began creeping in underneath the fabric on him. Hands tugging on his shirt which had Rei snapping out of his trance once again as he quickly showed the other off, placing himself above the other as a flush had spread across his face.

“Just- let me get your clothes off for you.” Rei quickly spoke, seemingly reaffirming to himself in a way what his goal was with this.

His hands tried making quick work of the dress, only thing was that he had never seen an attire like this, so he would have to figure it out as he went. Inevitably he once again felt fingers trailing his skin, forcing out a grunt.

With no warning the man below acted.

The man underneath leant up to suddenly pull him into a kiss, quickly causing every rational thought to be pushed out in favor of giving in.

His attempts at stopping the other began to grow weaker as Joki kissed him again, parted his lips, lords how he craved this.  _ He really shouldn’t. _ His hands continuously tried figuring out how to get this, damn dress- off. Alcohol hazing his mind and agitation growing as well as the fast growing lust had Rei not thinking straight.

He found his hands being more careless as his reason to get the attire off was changing direction little by little as the kisses grew more insistent. A hand approaching his hands and-

_ —rrrrrriiiippppp-! _

  
  
  


_ Scheißprüfung. _

  
  
  


At the sound of fabric ripping was when his mind caught up to him, he found his hands holding the toes dress as he was in shock. Whoops. pushing himself off of Joki and betraying the friend below in his pants.

“No- not when you’re drunk.” Rei said, though again his sentence was all breath. “I’m not having our fist time being forgotten because of one too many drinks.” He paused. “Or..if it comes out that you don’t even like things like these in the first place…”

He turned his head slightly towards Joki, his gaze was fixated on the larger man, pupils blown. The other let out a snort, and then a giggle. Rei just watched the other for a moment before Joki calmed down.

“Kiss me.”

Rei groaned.  _ Here we go again _ . “Not when you’re drunk.” He tried ignoring the arms that gently snaked up behind Rei’s neck before the other was on top of him. His hair falling softly down his shoulder as a mischievous smile was on his face. 

“I know you want to.” He leaned down, in a whisper. “I want you to do whatever you want to me.”

Hoo.  _ Wow.  _ Yeah, he needed to get the personification of temptation off him, and quickly, before another twang of heat shot down his body.

“You’re not making this very easy.” Rei groaned as he shoved the man off of him, trying to not let the guilt get a chance to manifest before he did so.

Not today satan.

He sat up as he quickly pulled the rest of the dress off the lithe body, only a soft moan of a protest escaped Joki’s lips, but he had not made any more advances for the moment being.

A slur escaped Joki’s lips to which he giggled at afterwards, he definitely insulted him in some way. “Honnto baka..” he slurred as the giggling returned. It caused Rei to roll his eyes, “you’re drunk yet I can still tell that was an insult.” He muttured,

“Of corze I’d be ahble to”

A mutter left Rei that sounded like ‘I noticed’ as he finally threw the dress onto the floor, he would have to pay for that wouldn’t he? Turning his gaze towards Joki he immediately found his eyes trailing the exposed body shamelessly. He settled on the bed as he began unbuttoning his shirt, eyes still exploring the lean form. There were indeed muscles to be seen, you would undoubtedly gain a resilient body from being a thief he’d imagine.

Refraining from touching was hard from the recent advances and pestering he had been receiving for the past ten minutes now.

He found himself linger his gaze at the hair mostly, was it longer than before? And paler? He shook his head, must be the alcohol.

Rei felt more in control now though, so he wasn’t in a full panic when the other attempted at kissing him once again, this time failing. _ About time. _ Joki looked as if he was about to black out at any moment.

“Mhh face to facee” he complained as Rei scoffed raising his eyebrows.“You mean a kiss?” Joki hummed sleepily as he made another attempt.

_ This guy… _

“You should take a nap.” Rei spoke, voice soft as he wasn’t as stressed now like he had been prior. He got the last piece of clothing off as he pulled the blanket over the lithe form beside him as he himself laid down. A silence stretched out as Rei began to slowly play with the other’s hair idly before a groan came out from Joki, ”Rei?”

“Mm…”

“sorry...I think I’m drunk.”

A scoff escaped Rei’s lips. “You think?” 

An idle hum came out from Joki, “mm..is cold her’..can you hold me?”

Rei’s face felt heating up only a little, he wasn’t used to being effected in this way that he was. “Only if you’re not going to try something”

“Mn no i promis’ please Rei..”

He contemplated it before pulling the other in close with a sigh.

Joki nestled against him, and heaved out another sigh. Although the release of sleep was quickly approaching, Joki wanted to ask Rei something… though he couldn’t remember what ever it could’ve been.

As exhaustion caught up to the man Rei watched him for a moment before daring placing a kiss on his forehead.

“Good Night, Joki.”


	18. The midnight ball III

As the sun peeked over the rooftops and made it’s way into the room Joki felt his eyes slowly open as a small more animal sounding than human like sound in form of a groan. His head was pounding and aching. Turning his head lazily he could only find the dress ripped to pieces— ripped in pieces?- the dress- was ripped in pieces. A bit alarmed he looked around the room only to find a weight on his body, not budging. He first saw the vermilion color over the bed as he frowned slightly, feathers? He wasn’t lying when he said that he REALLY was trying his bed remembering the night from before but couldn’t. Did he get something in his system causing memory loss? Was he knocked out? Alcohol wasn’t something familiar to him nor was it logical. There was a noise made which made his head slowly turn downward. On top was none other than Rei, holding his lithe body in a death grip in form of a hug. One thing was certain, Rei was heavy. “Mmn Rei...” he tried as he tried pushing the man off, “yurr crushhn me...”

The man with still closed up lifted himself up only to move up as he mumbled, “mm not awake yet...need cuddles..” he nuzzled his nose down the crook of the pale neck as Joki groaned while chuckling. “Nooo..Reii I’m dying here...” “can’t hear you...too busy getting my daily cuddles finally.” He coaxed as he hugged the man closer. “What do you- AH-NOSTA-“ Joki gasped as he squirmed as he felt the hands by his waist tickling him as he was left in a fit of laughter. “Y-YOURHA ON TOP-!! Not fairha hah!” Rei only hummed as a grin spread on his face while speaking, “can’t hear you still asleep- If you need awake Rei, press one-“ “PRESSING ONE PRESSING ONE” Rei’s eyes shot open as If surprised as he did not stop, “oh- my I guess I sleep tickled you my bad-“ “you’re not asleep anymore idiot!” Joki laughed as the man mumbled a “I have no idea what you’re talking about” under his breath as he couldn’t keep back the laughter as his hands calmed down as he was propped up on his elbows as now his forehead brushed against Joki’s whom was teary eyed as they were left softly chuckling. “I really want to kiss you right now..” Rei spoke softly as he was still calming down as he looked down at Joki, “am I allowed to?” 

Joki began calming down as he smiled, he thought on it before answering, “yea, I wouldn’t mind that.” With a smile Rei leant down giving a soft tender kiss, wrapping his arms around the man above he hummed as they stayed like so for a moment before pulling away as Rei placed a quick kiss on his cheek causing Joki to chuckle. The red haired nuzzled his head down once again in the crook of the pale man’s neck, “you know, you’re really pretty. Like this I mean.” 

Joki’s face turned into a questioning look as he caught sight of the white hair, he had not noticed that it was that shade of color until now. “Oh-“ he began as he sank in the bed. “Yea- I don’t really— it wasn’t supposed to show.” He didn’t like how he actually looked, too bony too pale, too weird. “I’ll change back-“ “why?” His eyes shot back to Rei as the question caught him off guard. “You don’t have to cover up all of this- I find it actually pretty beautiful.” There was a faint blush creeping over his face as he turned his head away with a tsk. “you really are an idiot or somethin..” he mumbled as Rei chuckled lightly, “well this idiot really likes this snow skinned fool.” Joki’s eyes shot up at the insult as he shot back. “Who are you calling a fool??” “Well, only a fool could look at yourself and not find you breath taking.” There was a silence to which a pout and a smile was facing each other as Joki pushed Rei’s face away briskly with a hand as he propped himself up more. “Just shut up you stupid— dork.” Rei laughed as he had his arms wrapped around the slim waist as he pressed kisses to the hand. “Don’t make me praise all parts of you, cause I will.” “I’ll hit you if you do.” There was a small laugh head as he relaxed his head, absently trailing his fingers along the scars as he did so. “Hey Rei.” Rei hummed in response. “Did we do it last night.” The comment had Rei stopping in his tracks as he lifted up his head with his messy hair with a questioning hum. “You know. Did we do ‘that’” Rei was silent as he quickly let out a response like a alarmed bird. “Ha?- Wait- AH NO- nono we did- no we uhm. You we’re drunk and- no.” He stumbled over the words as Joki tilted his head before crackling a laugh. “Good Because I have no damn how to do it.” Rei looked up as his embarrassed expression started to fade. “You’re a Virgin?” Joki’s face froze mid way in a laugh as he was silent before bursting. “Shut up! I’ll get rid of it!We can do it right here and now let’s go!” Rei had little time to react as he quickly waved his hands. “Wait no- I didn’t- there’s no rush! It’s not an insult I swear!” He propped up on his elbows as he scratched the back of his head a bit embarrassedly. “I mean- we can do it later if you want- but it’s more of a right mood thing you know..” he looked flusteredly away as he wasn’t the best at explaining the subject. Joki simply looked at him like he was either stupid or had just insulted Joki’s intelligence. “We’re doing it this month.” “Okay fine-“ “you’re not telling anyone about this-“ “no no of course-“ “I will murder you if you do-“ “I get it okay??”

Joki crossed his arms in triumph as he grinned. “Good! Then it’s settled!” “This is the most odd way to ask to have intercourse honestly.” Rei muttered under his breath as he smiled lazily. Grabbing the pale hips in a swift movement he pulled the lithe man down as he let out a yelp as they were in eye level before Rei began littering kisses on his face as the other could only laugh. “Com’ere you cute Schlaukopf” he said as he proceeded to have the fingers work into a tickle to which caused the man to laugh and kick wildly with his feet in a desperate attempt to get the assaulter off of him. “NO HA- Not again!” “Mm This is much easier to get free kisses thoughh..” Rei murmured as he proceeded to assault the neck area as his victim laughed helplessly. He let out a yelp as Joki pinched him in the side, causing Joki to take the chance by jumping up and pinning the man down. “You Ruin my dress and then assault me! The nerve-!” He began his speech only to me cut off as Rei grabbed his hips causing the two to roll over to the side. Rei grinned as he suddenly watched the room being filled with feathers as Joki had grabbed a pillow and hit Rei in the face. “PTHE- OH ITS ON.” Grabbing his own weapon he attacked the fox without mercy whom himself dodged skillfully as he threw his weapons against the attacker, as the bird was distracted Joki proceeded to grab a pillow to press down on the man’s face in triumph only to be thrown off and get attacked by a pillow. One could say there was a lot of feathers to have cleaned up after that battle.


	19. You left me

Rei tried is helping me to learn how to werite write. He told me I was supposed to write about my thoughts. I think it’s weird.

When I’m around you, it’s weird. Because I always grow tense or moviness restless when you’re not around it’s really boring without you here. I like sitting on the metal junk and just laying around. I think i I’d be fine without you, I just don’t want to be without you. You 意味しすぎる mean weird, with your humor.

I think I might like you I want to eat kake cake, how much do you need I’ll need to steal earn until I can byu bey buy one?

I don’t know how what to feel. It feels strange new something. You keep talking about ‘Liebe’ I don’t understand the concept. Lieeeb- ebe? It’s weird. Is it like 愛? And 셔 사랑? I should freshen up that language too I guess. If it’s what I think it is.

それはそれがこの気持ちだということですか？

I’ll need to learn how to write that in german someday.

/Joki 

He leant back on the chair as his eyes filled with a slight glint, brushing aside the other failed attempts he put the pencil down as he held up the rough paper towards the window. He just genuinely liked how the words stayed dark as the rest of the paper was lit through. He was sitting cross legged on a chair as he put the paper down once again. He stood up as he quickly turned back to put a star in one corner of the paper, it was silly. But it was so that he could find the best ones when he would be back.

Fireflies

They’re out on night during the Harvest Festival (Erntedankfest) Through out the city all of it had been lit up with candles and lights as no corner was left dark. Children were running around the streets playing as Joki found himself walking along in awe, he had not ever experienced something of this size before as all the scents of the wonderful foods filled his head. Pie, pumpkin, bread. Some scents was entirely unfamiliar to him as a whole.

He jumped a bit when a child accidentally ran into him laughing as it kept running while being chased by other children, for some reason he felt the corner of his lips being rugged upwards as all the music, scents, lights, made him feel- excited. It was a evening of festivities and joy. No children being scared nor soldiers looking menacing, just happiness. He would find soldiers talking to children with smiles on their faces, he even saw one event playing out.

A child came and bumped Into a soldier to which the soldier looked down. The child made a gesture of holding an imaginary gun as he made a boom noise. In Joki’s surprise the soldier staggered back, dramatically pretending to be hit as he leant down letting out a sound of pain before speaking. “Ow! Man down!” The child laughed as it took out a piece of bread giving the soldier it before running away laughing. Even the soldiers seemed relaxed. Joki found himself settling down by a table as many tables were placed out around a small stage to which many were dancing and laughing as a few men was playing music to it, one of them seemed to even be a soldier. By the side many could be seen clapping along to the song as it added to the buzz of the town square.

As he leant down his head against the table he let out a soft laugh as suddenly his sight was covered making his ears perk up in alarm. “Guess who?” He immediately felt the tension lower as he stifled a laugh whilst leaning back, “a bird.” “What bird?” “A stupid bird you comedian.” Joki answered with crossed arms as his head was leant back as the hands were pulled back to reveal Rei in his uniform. “Can you ever not insult me? Or is that your way of saying you actually love me?” He spoke as he moved around to settle down in the second seat. Joki rest his head on his elbow as he hummed, “That’s for you to figure out.”

In the warm light Rei’s uniform looked very much fancy, cap and cape and all. The gold reflected brightly against the light as it seemed like this outfit was only used during special occasions. “What’s the occasion? For the attire I mean.” Joki questioned as he gestured for the outfit, Rei hummed lowly as he leant back in the seat, “You don’t find Erntedankfest as a special occasion?” Joki let out a sarcastic laugh as he replied, “so that’s what all of this is about, well clearly I do know since you definitely told me about- ehrnte- thing.” Rei rolled his eyes slightly as he put his hands behind his head as he coaxed. “Fine, Fine point made. No need of rubbing it in.” “I might consider sparing you from doing that if you tell me what it is about.” Joki hummed as he put his head to the table once again, a smirk on his face. “Well it’s to celebrate the harvest of the year, believe its originally that way but over here it’s more of just celebrating the harvest having done well and thanking Sol “ “sol?” “You know, the sun god? Helps our crops grow?” 

Joki’s face changed from curios into an expression of annoyance, “you seriously believe that crap?” Rei cocked an eyebrow at the reaction, leaning forward he cooed. “Not a fan of the Concept or somethin?” “No, the concept is just stupid.” Joki hummed as he looked down into the candle in the middle of the table. “Gods as a concept just gives people reasons to not feel guilty about doing bad things.” Rei leant back in his chair, placing one leg over the other as he hummed. “Guess you have a point, if you only look at it as a negative way.” Joki shot up a glance as he spoke. “What about you, do you believe in gods?” Rei thought on it before shrugging nonchalantly, “I dunno really, I don’t mind what others believe if it helps in the long run.”

Joki only let out a brief scoff as his attention was suddenly turned to the sound of a ‘woaaah’. Turning his head Rei was met seeing three children looking at him in awe. Joki leaned forward as he spoke, “they’re looking at you bird man.” Rei kept himself from rolling his eyes as he turned fully towards the children. “Can I help you?” One of the children patter their own head and laughed. “Yur is hat gone” Cocking an eyebrow Rei turned to Joki whom was taking off his hat and putting it on a kid’s head with a grin. The kid let out a gasp of excitement as it began bouncing up and down before running away with the children. They stopped a little distance away and looked expectantly at Rei. Joki tilted his head as he was about to speak when he watched Rei with a grin get up and starting to chase the children, to which scattered with glee as they ran.

As he watched the soldier run his head perked up, letting out a surprised chuckle, was he really? Watching Rei catch a child to which let out a squeal he watched as the other children jumped onto Rei as he let out a groan. “Arg! I have been defeated!” Joki’s smile faded all so slightly as seemingly most buzzing in the background seemed to temporarily fade away as the thought struck him. Why really would someone like Rei find interest in someone like him? He hadn’t given it a thought. It was that kind of feeling that would creep up when you laid in bed trying to sleep, sticking holes in your sub consciousness with small regrets in the past and insecurities. Even when he was smiling watching on his mind felt to be somewhere else, it didn’t make sense. 

Why someone so good like Rei would like someone like himself. Though he knew very well that the man was indeed not perfect. Tendencies like making promises he was unable to keep and seemingly when it came to being a soldier being as hallow as Joki was himself. He could tell the differences between the soldier and the person in that shell. Maybe the fact that he could switch so easily justified him being the way he was.

Joki himself never gave it a lot of thought to wonder about how the man was on the field and in the city. In the city he was charming happy and over all kind. But on the field he was like the perfect soldier, never questioning their side’s actions, maybe it was denial or ignorance. He was stuck in thought as he felt a tap on his shoulder causing him to tilt his head up with a hum. He was met with the sight of a triumphant Rei waving his head with a smile, “I got it back, finally.”

Settling down he let out a sigh as he smiled with closed relaxed eyes; “those kids really gave me a work out I’ll admit.” He sighed as Joki hummed. “Hey Rei.” Rei hummed a response as Joki continued. “Have you ever killed somebody before.”

As if a blanket of tension fell over the table the two of them grew silent. Both keeping a smile on their faces, as if showing their control over the situation. Nobody was budging. It was Rei who was the one to speak first. “Yea, I’m a soldier.” Joki hummed silently as he looked up once again, “then, how did it feel the first time killing someone?” “Why are you asking this.” The table fell silent once again as both were in thought. Joki noticed how Rei’s expression now fell more serious. “Was just got wondering.” Joki finally replied as he grabbed a cup to drink from, letting it off as a lighthearted response. If anyone would not have known about the subject the two were speaking about, they might’ve as well mistaken it as a light hearted conversation. Though for Joki his curiosity had gotten the better of him, he wanted to see the middle of the two acts. Or more precisely, he wanted to get a reaction he wished for to see. He then and there realized that the both of them, were just as good as playing pretend as the other.

Though the real reason he wanted to find out how Rei would act in a situation like this was simple. This was his way of wanting to know if he would straight up lie to his face about the confession. He admitted that he was very much impulsive, not thinking ahead of time and giving actions less than a thought was a given. But it was a given that Rei was as a whole ‘nother person as a soldier. Getting so worked up over the fact that it was so hard accepting someone actually having feelings for him was in his eyes, a joke. Was he a bad person for trying to make sure one last time?

He was cut out of thought when he felt warm skin wrap around his hands in a soft grip. In front of him he was met with a strange emotion. Not anger nor betrayal. Just a stupid warm smile. “You know, I don’t know why something tells me that that’s not the question you really wanted to ask out of curiosity.”

Joki was about to respond as Rei continued. “What’s on your mind. Something is bothering you.” Joki’s lips clenched shut as he forced himself to speak as if having to pry his lips open. “It doesn’t make sense. I go through all options or why you would find me special but I find none. I lie, I insult you, I’m not a good person. So why, why would you waste time saying you love me if it only can be a lie?” The table fell silent as all music seemed to seep back into the background. There was a silence coming from Rei before he stood up. “Come. Let’s go somewhere else.”

As they left the buzzling sound of the music they found themselves going into the field, to which was lit up with fireflies by the time they stopped. Joki found himself being close to walk into the back of Rei as he stopped. He was met with Rei holding out a hand, with the same smile that he had like he had during the ball. “What are-“ “it’s pretty out here, care for a dance?” Joki frowned but took his hand as they began a slow calm dance. “During our time we have known each other, I really haven’t given you a reason to believe my words.” He spoke in a slow calm tone. “I am aware that my words can seem fake at times, as so can my actions seem. But I want to make something clear to you.” The staggered slightly in the dance as he continued, “I’m not a good person, I’m actually a bad person in many people’s eyes. That’s completely on me for the actions I’ve chosen to take.”

“But when you say I have no reason to love you I have to speak up. Because in fact, you seem to believe you’re a bad person for actions other people has taken to you.” He stopped in the dance for a moment as Joki looked up with still a frown on his face, feeling it softening in the sight of Rei’s soft expression. “Don’t you ever allow anyone to blame you for someone you lose putting you in the situation that you are in. Never let anyone look down on you for being the person you were born as if you’re doing your best to fix something.” A smile crept back up on his face. “That’s why I admire you, you don’t buckle for anyone- no matter how many times people try stomping you into the ground. And if you think I don’t love someone who will always get up after they’re pushed down, then you’re the idiot here.”

It was a small silence that lingered in the air to which none of the two spoke. Just a hand making it’s way the to small back of Joki’s head to which Rei leaned forward in a act of placing a small kiss on his forehead. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t clear enough with my feelings. I love you.” As he leant back Joki frowned slightly before looking up, still taking in the words as he watched Rei take something off. “This is my whole identity, I want you to have it.” He spoke as he held a chain with two dog tags in the bottom as he proceeded to put it on Joki. Why did this feel like a goodbye? “You’re not leaving are you?” He mumbled as he looked up. Rei shot back a unfaltering smile as he hugged the man close. “I’ll always be with you.”

“It felt so nice back there, I guess that was the point. I realized afterwards. That Rei really was the best liar I had seen. “

“Because he never came back.”


	20. Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is another chapter revolving around Joki’s childhood,

The chilly air in the dark night could be felt as if knives if you were too long out, small stars of white snow descended slowly from the sky to cover the colorful ground with the soft white.

A peaceful night. Is what many would’ve thought.

A shrill shriek is what ruined it all. The memory always was found to be fuzzy and blurred, especially the part to which the bad deed had been done that would be enough to be punished for.

A hard grip on the back of the shirt the door flung open to reveal two Silhouettes in the door. Kicking and screaming with a desperation in his voice the small boy screamed as the woman threw him into the snow. The ground was cold, scrambling to his feet the door slammed shut just as he got to the door to which he began slamming his fists against the hard wood. “Oi! Hey you can’t leave me out here I’ll die!! Hey let me in!!” He was suddenly thrown back as the door slammed open to which a hard force suddenly made contact with his face.

Being thrown back he could only figure that he had been kicked in the face as he laid gasping in the snow, his skin burning as it made contact with the snow. He felt weak, attempting the push himself up as he watched red drops appearing on the white surface. As he began recovering he whipped his head as he remembered the door was still open.

“Then so be it” a cold voice hissed as he felt a sudden incredible pain covered his body as he had been splashed in water causing him to wither and shudder whilst he whimpering in surprise. The cold was like a punch to the gut- blowing the wind out of him at the same time. The sound of the bucket being thrown aside him as well as the door slamming shut felt distant as he could only think on holding his shuddering body. He watched every breath he took become a cloud of white in the dark night.

When he did get enough strength to get up he’d bang on the door whilst yelling, it wouldn’t take long until he could only sit by the door trying to keep himself warm which was proven to be quite difficult. Guess that was the closest he got to the death. The incredible pain had him to willing to do anything to feel warmth.

It was only late into the morning which some people had spotten him sitting at the staircase mumbling. His eyes opened slightly as the door opened behind him, not that he noticed.

The mother smiled as she looked at the boy, pretending to be shocked. “Oh dear What are you doing outside? I thought I told you these nights get cold!” She exclaimed as she grabbed the small body by the arms and held him in an embrace. He clung to the warmth, almost delirious as he whimpered. “M-mom-“ “it’s alright it’s alright let’s go inside now dear” The sweet voice, the motherly embrace was all so fake, he wanted to puke. If only it was real.


End file.
